God's Warped, Evil, Scatological Mind

I read Catch-22 many years ago while I was still a Christian, so this quote didn’t resonate with me then as much as it does now:

“And don’t tell me God works in mysterious ways,” Yossarian continued, hurtling on over her objection. “There’s nothing so mysterious about it. He’s not working at all. He’s playing. Or else, He’s forgotten all about us. That’s the kind of God you people talk about — a country bumpkin, a clumsy, bungling, brainless, conceited, uncouth hayseed. Good God, how much reverence can you have for a supreme being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when he robbed old people of their power to control their bowel movements? Why in the world did He ever create pain?”

“Pain?” Lieutenant Schiesskopf’s wife pounced upon the word victoriously. “Pain is a useful symptom. Pain is a warning to us about bodily dangers.”

“And who created the dangers?” Yossarian demanded. He laughed caustically. “Oh, He was really being charitable to us when He gave us pain! Why couldn’t He have used a doorbell instead to notify us, or one of His celestial choirs? Or a system of blue-and-red neon tubes right in the middle of each person’s forehead? Any jukebox manufacturer worth his salt could have done that. Why couldn’t He?”

“People would certainly look silly walking around with red neon tubes in the middle of their foreheads.”

“They certainly look beautiful now writhing in agony or stupified with morphine, don’t they? What a colossal, immortal blunderer! When you consider the opportunity and power he had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid ugly little mess He made of it instead, His sheer incompetence is almost staggering. It’s obvious. He never met a payroll. Why, no self-respecting businessman would hire a bungler like Him as even a shipping clerk!”

(via)

This entry was posted in Creationism / ID, God, Quotes. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to God's Warped, Evil, Scatological Mind

  1. Geis says:

    The counter-arguments I’ve encountered in pointing out all this sort of thing is that God made us perfect but because Adam and Eve went and got themselves thrown out of the Garden of Eden, the world is no longer perfect. It’s our own fault, apparently.

    • Mike says:

      I’ve heard all these arguments too – they are so weak that if they were coffee they couldn’t crawl over the rim of the cup.

      • Jabster says:

        Unfortunately this is a common trait when applied to truths from religious texts … this answer, however ridiculous and contrived, must be the right answer as the religious text is right. Strangely enough it never appiles to texts from other religions which are obviously wrong.

    • dutchhobbit says:

      I heard that when the bible says Adam and Eve were made perfect, they were made perfect physically but not mentally. Kind of strange that this was not in the bible. Might highlight the thing in the post:god is not perfect.

  2. Muhamad says:

    Interesting point Daniel…I lost my religion when I was about 13/14, and I remember avoiding anything deemed non-religious, let alone read it. All that changed circa 1989.

  3. michael says:

    The name is actually Lieutenant “Scheisskopf”, and when translated from the German gives you “Sh*thead”. Good name for a fundie!

  4. :) Nothing like a lil righteous indignation toward superstitious beliefs. Love this passage.

  5. Lone Wolf says:

    Those are not the worse counter arguments there are. There some sick counter arguments that do nothing but show how sick, indifferent and depraved some theists can be towards the suffering of others.

  6. oouchan says:

    Just an awesome quote then as it is now.
    I particularly like this part: “That’s the kind of God you people talk about — a country bumpkin, a clumsy, bungling, brainless, conceited, uncouth hayseed.” ~~~ This describes a lot of people I grew up with.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>