When Scott Bailey isn’t baiting Jim West, he’s scouring the intertubes for the worst in Christian performance art. Recently, he’s found one of the worst bits of Christian theological music ever produced.
This is William Tapley, a retired furniture engineer from the Adirondacks turned end times prophet. He styles himself as “the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse,” a reference from Revelation. This is his latest work about the end times, “Doom & Gloom.”
It’s hard to pick which is worst about this. We could start with his creaky voice and the amateur-hour music. The cheerful tune accompanying the dismal lyrics is pretty jarring in itself. The whole theology of the piece has more to do with Left Behind than the Bible, and it’s studded with bits like this:
You can win, just don’t sin
Please don’t watch pornography
You can win, just don’t sin
Onan’s sin is what will make
Your God angry
If you’re living in this century and still mistaking the point of the Biblical passages about Onan, I think all hope for you is gone.
Oo, Oo, Oo, Oo, can I be the anti-christ!
He means god gets mad if your brother dies without male progeny and you decline to impregnate his widow, giving her a male child to carry on his name. Quite simple. Unless your sister-in-law is a mean and repulsive hag…
I actually made it through 1:30 of it. I’m pathetic.
I actually watched the whole thing…sort of a deer-in-the-headlights or slowing-down-to-see-an accident reaction, I guess.
Along with the total assholinity of this, he also manages to mangle music theory. He needs to study tonic, dominate and subdominate more than Revelation.
The really horrible thing is that stupid “tune” will be with me for the rest of day. The End Times can’t come soon enough.
I have just witnessed the tribulation, listening to that musical atrocity sung out of tune. He must be tone deaf…..brain dead, we know.
Igor, thanks for the warning about the sticky ‘tune’, I shan’t risk listening.
lol wow. wow.
Did he take these lyrics from a metal song and sing it to nursery rhyme?
“Furniture engineer”? I didn’t even know that that was a thing you could be.
The Adirondacks are a big furniture producing area.
OMG!!! That is hilarious! ‘Armeged’. Trim your wicks! Seventh trump! Love it. Love the pond in the background. Everything! It could not be more perfect. Except it kind of needs some puppets… or maybe a mime.
Credit where credit is due: I got into a rather typical YouTube “debate” with Tapley, eventually resulting in private messages and the like. He’s an extremely nice, if extremely crazy, guy. He mailed me a copy of his book for free, and he’s always courteous. I can’t agree with a damn thing he says, but I have to stand up for him as a person.
It must have been a funny “debate”. I love having debates once in a while with Youtube crazies. With such easy access, Youtube is unfortunately (or fortunately, when it comes to entertainment value) replete with Tapley and the likes.
Truly a masterpiece of awefulness. Nice find. I imagine this guy is looking at his youtube channel and feeling so good about himself that he’s gotten so many hits and is spreading the word of the lord. Everyone wins.
For someone who ostensibly believes in a soul, his music is completely devoid of soul.
I was quite struck not only by his song, but by his ranting theology.
I decided to do a satire video on his song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZty8l4qT8k
Erandon
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