I’m surprised it took this long for someone to market this …
This is a parody of the above, although it’s a little in-jokey and aimed primarily at Scott Bailey, bibliobloggers and Canada. Mostly Canada.
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The Reagan quote made me lol twice. First because of the quote, then again because it was Reagan.
I think that the Reagan quote is correct – the answers to all the world’s problems do lie inside the bible pages. The hard part is getting those words from the bible into the correct order, because they’re surely not to start with
It would be a little difficult extracting, say, a definition of Graham’s Number from the words of the Bible in any order. But I guess if you are allowed to rearrange all the letters too, you probably could work one out.
My Barnes & Noble sells the American Patriot’s Bible. It goes on shelves with neighbors such as the “Woman, Thou Art Loosed” Bible, The Max Lucado Bible, and (no joke) the Manga Bible.
I have the Lolcat Bible at home (seriously).
Hey, do you think they know the background song has “We’ll all be gay” in it?
Just as an aside: Canada is a pretty awesome country. We have enough socialism to make any Tea Party member curl up in the corner and weep themselves to insanity, but we are also run as a parliamentary democracy. During the global recession we had a fiscally conservative party in power and have come out on the other side in pretty good position (for the last few months the Canadian dollar has been worth more than the American: suck it Yanks!… just kidding). We have tons of land, clean water, natural resources, and food… and lots of hot well educated women. Come on, if that’s not sexy, what is?
In short order: it’s probably just a matter of time until you come take all of our stuff!
Well educated women??
*takes first flight out of ‘The U.S. of JC’*
Wow, add this book to the David Barton group of books. But then the Canadian book makes so much more real sense, i.e., the pages are mostly blank. I bought a book years ago by Isaac Asimov called, Asimov’s Guide of the Bible. Not because I was very interested in the Bible, but I thought I could get some objective factual information about a book, with which to refute Xian’s claims about it being divinely inspired, that for many throughout history was the only book anyone knew about. Unfortunately, I never got around to reading Asimov’s guide, not the bible either for that matter.
From the ages of 8-10 I was in a Pentacostal orphanage, basically a Xian indoctrination center, for there was an emphasis on reading the bible and saving souls for Jesus mostly. There was chapel every morning at 9 AM for an hour to an hour and a half, and nightly devotions and more reading the bible for another hour or so, with each one around the room saying an individual prayer. In order to go swimming in the summer, we had to recite the books of the new and old testament of the bible. What I learned there was what it means to be a hypocrite, many on the staff usually had their very own whipping boy and physical beatings were not discouraged if as a kid you did not join in the prayer meetings. I was abused many times for not wanting to join in these religious meetings. The adult staff, on the one hand spoke a lot about god, and on the other hand, beat the s**t out of me because I did not agree. If they could have been a little more Xian like, I would not have to call them hypocrits. They probably did me a favor, unintentionally.
The meek shall inherit the Earth…scratch that.
Those with nuclear bombs and tanks and the world’s greatest military spending shall inherit the Earth.
See, being a patriot is just like being a Christian! Whee!
If they weren’t so damn expensive, they’d make excellent toilet paper!!!! Read a page, rip it out, wipe your ass…. The bible…. I love to flush it!
I hope they printed it on soft paper……………………..