10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus

It’s an oldie, but a goodie.

I had to throw my two cents in cause I find this rather bothersome. Considering my father was a severe alcoholic, and the reason he is not still with use today is because of beer. My children will never know their grandfather because of beer.

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
Not true. Many groups use alcohol as a form of respect and can harm, if not kill, you for not participating in their drinking activities. Not to mention that you can actually kill yourself by not drinking. Many alcohols develop such high dependencies on alcohol that not drinking will actually kill them. My father was such an example.

9. Beer doesn’t tell you how to have sex.
Actually it does, in a way. Beer is notorious for changing the way one proceeds in sexual endeavors.

8. Beer has never caused a major war.
Maybe not, but beer has been responsible for large amounts violence during the prohibition, and not to mention the massive massive massive amount of domestic violence caused by beer.

7. They don’t force Beer on minors who can’t think for themselves.
Many alcohol commercials use advertising that tries to change the way you think, and many alcoholic parents are known for getting their children into drinking. Not to mention peer pressure is a major cause of underage drinking.

6. When you have a Beer, you don’t knock on people’s doors trying to give it away.
My dad used to go door to door asking for money for beer, not to mention many homeless stand around in areas of high traffic trying to panhandle for money for beer.

5. Nobody’s ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.
Not to immediate recollection, but alcohol leads to many crimes that can cause such violence in retaliation.

4. You don’t have to wait 2,000+ years for a second Beer.
Maybe we should, considering the massive intake of beer in this country. Beer lends itself to massive social problems and at least making people wait longer between each intake of alcoholic beverage would prevent alcohol poisoning.

3. There are laws saying Beer labels can’t lie to you.
Yeah, and there are laws saying cant lie to you either. They still do.

2. You can prove you have a Beer.
Can you. I can prove to you I have a substance in my hand that looks like beer, tastes like beer, and smells like beer, and is in a beer can, but doesnt mean its bear. Observation is only a stepping stone to truth, and just because something can be “determined” by observation does not make it so. Afterall, the use of observation as a scientific basis made us believe things like the world was flat, or that the sub ravolved around the earth.

1. If you’ve devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.
The fact that there has to be groups to help you stop something, does not make that something good. In fact it just goes to show that beer has such negative effects on a person and their world that they must seek outside help to even begin to break free from the chains of alcohol.

Sometimes you atheists are more bigoted than the Christian folk you condemn.