Tim Minchin, the pianist, skeptic and comedian whom we are all familiar with here, recently had a brush with a Christmas censor. Minchin had been asked to preform a Christmas song for The Jonathan Ross Show. Minchin came up with a tune he called “Woody Allen Jesus.” Here’s his side of the story:
Being Christmas, I thought it would be fun to do a song about Jesus, but being TV, I knew it would have to be gentle. The idea was to compare him to Woody Allen (short, Jewish, philosophical, a bit hesitant), and expand into redefining his other alleged attributes using modern, popular-culture terminology.
It’s not a particularly original idea, I admit, but it’s quite cute. It’s certainly not very contentious, but even so, compliance people and producers and lawyers all checked my lyrics long before the cameras rolled. As always with these bespoke writing jobs, I was really stressed for about 3 days, and almost chucked it in the bin 5 times, and freaked out that it wasn’t funny and all that boring shit that people like me go through when we’re lucky enough to have with a big audience with high expectations. And if I’m honest, it ain’t a world-changing bit of comedy. Regardless…
And then someone got nervous and sent the tape to ITV’s director of television, Peter Fincham.
And Peter Fincham demanded that I be cut from the show.
He did this because he’s scared of the ranty, shit-stirring, right-wing press, and of the small minority of Brits who believe they have a right to go through life protected from anything that challenges them in any way.
Yesterday I wrote a big rant about comedy and risk and conservatism; about the fact that my joke has no victim; about sacredness (oh God, not again!) and about the importance of laughing at dumb but pervasive ideas. But I trashed it because it’s boring and takes it all too seriously. It’s hardly the end of the world.
But I have to admit I’m really fucking disappointed.
It’s 2011. The appropriate reaction to people who think Jesus is a supernatural being is mild embarrassment, sighing tolerance and patient education.
And anger when they’re being bigots.
Oh, and satire. There’s always satire.
So here’s the clip of “Woody Allen Jesus” that was not aired on The Jonatan Ross Show. Enjoy, and have a happy solstice-time holiday celebration.
but even so, compliance people and producers and lawyers all checked my lyrics long before the cameras rolled.
Good idea. It would be a mess if Jesus showed up and sued for defamation.
I still like his “Fuck the Pope” song better! Tim Minchin… a very talented an open atheist!
Amen,
I mean praise be to Jesus (Woody Allen Jesus)
ok, how about “ditto.” :-)
Too much estrogen in our food and water. The meteoric rise of the right corrolates perfectly with the increased consumption high estrogen soy based food products and estrogen based birth control women take. No matter what you say about religion to anybody they take it the same way a woman does when you tell her she has a big butt.
Which doesn’t explain why when I used estrogen based birth control and drank soy milk I became more liberal. Weird, that.
Ever heard of the phrase ‘Correlation does not imply causation?’
Too bad he can’t sing. He should stick to standup.
Funny, because I’ve personally sat in the audience of a 5000 seat arena and watched him and a full symphony orchestra (plus drummer and bass guitarist) play a full show and two encores, and get three standing ovations. I would suggest that the weight of opinion in that sample, plus Tim’s income from singing, disagrees with your assessment ;-)
He’s actually a very good singer. And an absolutely amazing pianist. And his standup is just the icing on the cake. LOVE that guy!
Isn’t a funny thought that we fear some christians,because I.m told that Jesus Christ was a kind and gentle man, and are christians not related to Jesus in some way?
That logic is so bizarre.
Gee, I can’t understand why a company (ITV) that relies on advertising dollars would edit out a comic routine as edgy as this, that would air immediately before a cut to what was undoubtedly advertising Christmas merchandise. Makes no sense to me at all why the advertiser immediately after that routine would go carotid artery-popping apoplectic, and pull all future advertisements, if the bit was allowed to air.
Rationalists, Empiricists, Skeptics, Atheists, and Ethical Humanists must be more rational, empirical, and skeptical in atheistic and humanistic views of free speech — i.e.: There is no such thing as “Free Speech” on commercial television.
You are all bought and sold/
If the truth be told/
You could probably use a little/
Woody Allen-Zombie-Hydroplaning-Superman-Jesus/
In your sorry-ass li-ife.
Then you wouldn’t have/
The network executAVE/
Telling you what t’believe/
How to live and breath/
What to wear and how to live…
That’s why me and my/
Woody Allen-Zombie-Hydroplaning-Superman-Jesus/
Toss ceasar his denarii/
Hell, we’re all gonna die/
So what’s so wrong with taking a/
little comfort in my/
Woody Allen-Zombie-Hydroplaning-Superman-Jesus?
So, screw the media, and screw/
ITV and Tim Minchin, too/
I’m no supernaturalist/
Just think that the frikkin’ gist/
of my Woody Allen-Zombie-Hydroplaning-Superman-Jesus/
Is…
Law-just-for-the-Law’s sake/
Science just for politics make/
(Like “Darwin knew much more about the universe”)/
‘Cause he rode around on a boat and came up with terse/
little expanations about how things came into beeee-ing/
Is bull-s*** Phariseeing /
And just being/
Too afraid to commit/
To the idea that there might be something greater than your paltry litte s***…
So what more did Darwin know/
Than Einstein and Hubble? And, oh, /
How many dimensions did Darwin think were possible?/
Eleven? One hundred and ten? Can I get a multi-verse parable?
And how can an electron be everywhere and nowhere all at the same time?/
I could go on and on with this rhyme/
But you’ll just write me off as a religious fanatic, so,/
Peace.
In a country composed in the main of people who are so disinterested in religion that they never bother thinking about whether they’re atheist, agnostic or what, the effect on ITV’s ad revenue would have been precisely zero. This isn’t America. We can openly point at religion and laugh without fear of getting shot or beaten. Different national standards: What you call edgy is really very mild over here.
Help me out here, though, since I don’t know the tone in the UK – is there no social sensitivity about sacrilege around Christmas they wouldn’t mind the rest of the year? Like, “heh-heh, that’s funny, but don’t diss the lord on his birthday, that’s rude!” The overall feel I’ve experienced in the US (and considering where I’ve lived that religions [Xianity] don’t seem that big a deal compared to other places) is that people just get all weird about what they can laugh at if it’s considered a sacred day that they might not mind as much another time of year.
Just asking what you have anything like that over there?
No, not at all. Generally whenever the Conservatives are in power you get a PM who pays lip-service to the whole “Christian nation” idea without ever actually doing anything about it (because they all know it’s a load of bollocks), but generally speaking most Brits are a bit suspicious, or pitying, of the really batshit-insane-devout Christian demographic. We’re too stoical and reserved a people to trust all that speaking in tongues and shouting about hell in the streets stuff. Sometimes the Archbishop of Inanity, Rowan Williams, will spout some shrill twaddle about how horrible we all are for not believing in his imaginary zombie Jew friend, but other than that, not much is said publicly.
I mean, there are still some born-again loony churches here, of course – But hey have no real voice because nobody cares what they think and we don’t like shrill, attention-seeking nonsense, which seems to be the fundie stock-in-trade. Good example, an acquaintance of mine once claimed that there are laws in Britain preventing Christians talking publicly about their religion (there aren’t). The rest of us who happened to be sitting at the same table all just sort of smiled and raised our eyebrows at each other in a kind of mutual “Oh what a Muppet!” cringe.
Christmas is no different. It’s not about God or Jesus. It’s about having an excuse to eat a gigantic turkey and a pound of sprouts, each… So I guess there might be fundies having a giant persecution-complex circle-jerk over it, but like I said, the rest of us never get to hear about it, so we don’t care :-p
Also, I quite enjoyed your lyrics, despite certain moments of not-sure-if-troll-or-stupid raised eyebrows ;-)
Got to be honest Vorjack, the lead line on this post is very misleading. The song isn’t banned or censored and there’s nothing institutional about it; one guy at ITV who’s well known for being paranoid had the power to deny this song air-time, and he did. Denying somebody a platform on a commercial medium isn’t the same as censorship, and neither is one individual not including a bit in a show he controls. If the BBC had done the same thing, then I would have been outraged, because the BBC is taxpayer owned. But the controller of ITV can give air time to whoever he chooses.
I thought the song was hilarious… and I don’t know what they expected to get from Tim Minchin if they specifically asked him to write a song and perform on the show. I’ve not given him a lot of attention myself, late to the party, but I sort of presumed his irreverence from how well-liked he is on this board. It’s like they might ask a tiger to behave like a kitty-cat – they asked him to come! Here’s a popular entertainer whose work we’re aware of, but it is kind of censorship (not in the legal sense) to suppose he’ll tone down his comedy and sing something from the Bing Crosby catalog that everyone will love and not be uptight about. Bing Crosby beat his kids, so that’s way more offensive. Minchin’s just pointing a few things out that happen to be true and coincidental, while also uplifting (not a downer like “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”) and fun for everyone!
It was Jonathan Ross, his show and his production company that asked Minchen to appear, write a song and perform it. ITV’s own producers had a look at the lyrics before recording and the final edit of the show (produced by Ross and company) and approved. Once the show was in the can, so to speak, the director of programming heard about the song and took unilateral action to nix it. He had nothing to do with booking Minchen in the first place and rarely if ever get involved in the production and recording of individual shows, but this time he did, because he and he alone freaked out. It wasn’t really an issue of ITV not knowing what they were getting into so much as it was one man with a lot of power acting on impulse out of either fear or petulance.
I also enjoyed the song, I’m a massive Tim Minchin fan – But I’m also aware that ultimately Peter Fincham is going to have to answer to his board and shareholders, and will probably get bollocked for losing ITV viewers who would have tuned in just for Tim. Like I said, it’s a commercial station and Fincham is the controller of it. He can give air to whatever he likes.
Interestingly, Tim has done the Jonathan Ross show and played irreverent stuff before – Before it moved to ITV. When it was a BBC show, I don’t recall it being considered controversial in the least. Certainly it never made headlines. I suspect that Fincham is probably a butt-hurt Christian. Meh.
DISCLAIMER: I’m Christian. I’m also virulently anti-religion. Religion is generally used as a truncheon. Religion is used as a propaganda tool, to keep certain people rich and in power, and others poor and doing the shit work.
So… I thought Minchin’s song was frikkin hilarious. And to the point.
There’s a book called Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore. Another hilarious take on the life of Jesus.
But my question: Above, Custador says the UK is “composed in the main of people who are so disinterested in religion that they never bother thinking about whether they’re atheist, agnostic or what…”
Is that really true? I mean are there stats for that? In the US, there was a long period when it was “uncool” to be of faith. I mean, you could be Buddhist, and that was fine, and Karma’s magic could work on you and for you. Or you could be an animist. Or a Pagan. And that was groovy. But to believe in a Christian god, and to say it out loud was social suicide.
Of course, there was a HUGE backlash to that, just like there was to the US’s embarrassment in Vietnam. And that’s why we have the social climate in the US that we do now, where people who have no idea what they’re talking about use Christianity as a reason to start wars, be bigoted, etc, etc…
But, luckily, we’re not all a bunch of ignoramuses (ignorami?) over here.
People wonder. They think. It’s human nature to imagine what is outside of the boundaries of what can be perceived, don’t you think? I know many Christians who can allow this level of skepticism into their thought. And can laugh out loud at things like Minchin’s song and Moore’s book, without any fear of going to hell (as if).
So, aren’t there Brits like that? Isn’t there a bit of that level of wonder reserved, that doesn’t just all go into the hysterical consumerism of Christmas? I mean, you have to look for it, but…
So really, there would have been ZERO effect on advertising revenue, by airing the spot? I’m an advertising and marketing guy, and I think that people have closely-held beliefs and feelings that they do not share readily. I think that anyone who advertises anywhere that bills itself as a free society would pause and think seriously about spending millions (or at least hundreds of thousands) to advertise after that spot. And the first thing they might think is of millions of even somewhat conservative heads of households clicking the tv off about 67% of the way through the song.
Am I being overly parochial?
It’s really true. Regular churchgoers in Britain are around the one in twenty mark.
The Christopher Moore book was brilliant.
In the US, there was a long period when it was “uncool” to be of faith. I mean, you could be Buddhist, and that was fine, and Karma’s magic could work on you and for you. Or you could be an animist. Or a Pagan. And that was groovy. But to believe in a Christian god, and to say it out loud was social suicide.
That period being from about 1760-1820.
http://www.secularism.org.uk/british-social-attitudes-survey.html
This survey was released about a month ago I believe. It basically backs up the numerous other ones over the past few years that have shown a rise in non-attendance and general apathy toward religion among the sizeable majority of Brits.
“I think that anyone who advertises anywhere that bills itself as a free society would pause and think seriously about spending millions (or at least hundreds of thousands) to advertise after that spot.”
Then they clearly don’t think themselves in much of a free society, do they?
Conservative heads of households? What century are you living in?
For one thing, if you watch Jonathon Ross, you expect some “edgy” material, it is what he does. And secondly, heads of household?! Rofl!
I would like to hear aTim Minchin song entitled ‘ father Christmas is real as is his creator god’
Okay. One parting shot. And I will post this link elsewhere on Unreasonable Faith, as the linked article describes how many of us may feel…
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/opinion/news-analysis/im-with-you-on-christianity-its-christians-i-cant-stand-16095745.html
“Many of us” – You are aware that most people here are atheists? This being an atheist blog and all? Because, I think I can speak for those of us who are atheists living in Britain when I say that article is complete bullshit.
Wonderful… this guy is intelligent and hilarious… not to mention a great pianist and vocalist.. .I can sing and play the piano… but to do both at the same time, and without compromising one or the other.. is really tough.