King of the Jews

(source)

  • Noelle

    Hmm. An oldie but a goodie..

    What’s the chances Jesus wasn’t working with pure water? They didn’t exactly have carbon filtration systems or reverse osmosis techniques back then. The water may have contained other minerals and organic compounds for him to work physics magic. Probably already had a little bacteria, maybe traces of past beverages.

    • FO

      Definitely no better than the chances of a conjurer trick or that people just made shit up when they wrote the Bible.

      • Noelle

        Well, of course it’s just a story. I like it though. It’s fun. It says Jesus is a good party guest, and a bit of a wine snob. Aren’t there other wine-loving gods out there too? This is what your OT God is missing, instant winery action and a fun-loving spirit.

        • kessy_athena

          LOL Yahweh was just sulking because he knew he couldn’t compete with Bacchus. I’ll bet it wasn’t even good wine either. Neutrinos leave an unpleasant aftertaste.

          • Mark Temporis

            Actually, I think it might have really BEEN a Dionysus story! Dionysus has quite a number of parallels with Jesus and it’s not completely unthinkable a bit of religious plagiarism is going on.

            • kessy_athena

              Wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest, considering the Christians blatantly stole from everyone from Gilgamesh to Mithras to Osiris. Not that I actually mind them borrowing from other traditions, but to then pretend that theirs is the One True Religion and all others are lies of the devil is extraordinarily hypocritical.

  • Kevin

    Rowan Atkinson tells how it REALLY happened:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umRRCkspaQU

  • Hilary

    Wouldn’t that be King of the Juice?

    Sorry, couldn’t help it.

    Besides, Adonai doesn’t mind wine. There’s a specific prayer just for prasing god for creating the fruit of the vine, to be recited before having wine once a week on the sabbath, plus four glasses (at least) at Passover, and enough wine at Purim to not tell the difference between the names of the good guys or the bad guys.

    • Elemenope

      “Blessed be Haman! No, no, no…strike that. Reverse it. [Hiccup].”

  • Robster

    I love how the deluded godbots seem to place great importance in miracles/magic tricks perpretated by the baby jesus as some sort of proof of divinity. Ask them for evidence and it all goes out the window in a blather of nonsensicle excuses. Always good for a giggle. Even more so when they really take it seriously and pretend it’s in any way truthful.

    • kessy_athena

      The thing is, even if the stories were true, so what? A cute parlor trick with water and wine doesn’t make you the ultimate moral authority or even particularly worth listening to. After all, how many stage magicians are complete assholes?

  • ginger k

    Ethanol is CH3CH2OH. There are over 200 organic compounds in wine, and maybe some of them have “carbon rings,” but this is too vague to make sense. A better phrase would be carbon *atoms,* since hydrogen would have to fuse into helium, then helium into carbon.

    A concerned chemist.

  • Erik

    Seems legit.


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