For Sale: Purity Ring, Slightly Used

I thought this was good: an Ebay auction for a Used Purity Ring.

This purity ring has a double-band and is etched with True Love Will Wait. It’s gently used and looks like new. This isn’t weird. Really. It’s just that … how should I say this? … the ring is no longer needed.

What do I have in common with Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Nick Jonas? They don’t wear their purity rings anymore, and neither do I.

This ring will bring you good luck!

Condition: Pre-owned.
Material: Material is irrelevant in matters of the heart

But the real joys are in the Q&A:

Q: Hi, your description of the Used Purity Ring for sale states it is associated with good luck. Do you know if this luck can be used for trying to meet ladies? I am asking for a friend.

A: Dear WKK, I can only speak from personal experience: I have never been flirted with, picked up, and propositioned quite as often as when I wore this ring. It is truly a lucky ring. Please share this information with your friend.

Best of all, proceeds go to Planned Parenthood. Since it started at $5 and is now over $100, that may turn out to be a nice little money raiser.

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