Well, worry no longer! For the commited Christian animal-lover, there’s Eternal Earthbound Pets – pet care for your post-rapture needs!

Jesus had a Puppy

“You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

I haven’t contacted the owners of this site, but I am awed by the genius of their business model – and I wish I’d thought of it first! How could this not make money in the USA?

“Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable. For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

In other words: “Give us your money, you gullible morons! Yes, that’s it! Empty the wallet! Gooood little moron, goooood!”

I wish there were more fundagelical fools in Britain so that I could set up a similar service over here :-)

[Many thanks to my friend Anna-Jamie for posting this on her facebook for me to shamelessly steal, and for her comment: "As a Christian i wouldn't trust my pet with an Athiest, I'd prefer a Buddhist". I'm pretty sure she was being sarcastic.]

EDIT: It’s been pointed out to me that DF already blogged this over a year ago – But I didn’t see it at the time (I was in The Land that Internet Forgot at the time, felling trees for my parents), so just a quick apology to Daniel for toe-treading! Not intentional.