Jews & Caffeine Suppositories

I have a hard time believing this is real, but I don’t see anyone saying it’s not. Jews rushing to get caffeine suppositories:

Jews throughout Williamsburg snapped up caffeine suppositories today, hours before the start of the Yom Kippur fast that would deprive them of the jolt — and hunger suppression — that coffee typically provides.

he day-long fast is the centerpiece of the holiest day on the Jewish calendar — but some religious Jews see a Talmudic loophole that allows them to ingest their daily dose of caffeine, albeit through a different orifice.

“It helps — you know, it’s hard to concentrate when you’re fasting and also addicted to caffeine,” said Baruch Herzfeld, an Orthodox Jew who owns a bike store in Williamsburg. “Some take it before sundown, but most take it throughout their fasting. These guys love a good loophole.”

These huge, rectally inserted pills are popular. Pharmacists at Rafieh — one of many distributors in south Williamsburg on Lee Avenue — sold nearly 150 suppositories today.

“We have caffeine suppositories!” the store’s handwritten sign heralded. “Be ready!”

But is it kosher?

There’s some controversy over whether Jews observing the Biblical fast should be taking an easy out (or, more accurately, in).

Some Jewish leaders said that consuming anything — through the body’s traditional entrance or its exit — is against the spirit of the ritualistic fast.

“We’re supposed to do it the old fashioned way — I wouldn’t advise [suppositories],” said Rabbi Simcha Weinstein, a Hasidic leader. “We wanna keep Jews in the synagogue and not in the bathroom.”

So absurd. Don’t even know where to begin.

Seek and you shall Find (what we want you to find)

Via Religion Dispatches. I discovered the new Christian search engine, SeekFind. It’s a search engine that ensures that the results of your search will be acceptable to a conservative Christian Sunday school teacher.

Apparently there are a number of these engines springing up, mostly dedicated to a specific religious viewpoint. But most of them seem to be tools, like Jewogle which can find information about famous Jews along with kosher recipes. Our friend Luke at Common Sense Atheism has set up an engine that searches atheists sites.

These engines aren’t an attempt to replace or sanitize Google, they’re just a way to get specific information from the sprawling ‘net more efficiently. I may be wrong about this, but SeekFind, which proclaims that it’s mission is to “provide God-honoring, biblically based, and theologically sound Christian search engine results,” seems more like an attempt to create conservative Christian safe-area on the web.

A quick search for “atheism” turns up several sites attempting to debunk the position. For example, allaboutphilosophy.org, which jumps into the “atheists have no morality” argument straight away. A search for “PZ Myers” takes you to articles at the Institute for Creation Research and Answers in Genesis criticizing Myers. Coupled with the fact that ICR and AIG almost never provide links back to the things they criticize, and you’ve got a neat way of preventing any contact with opposing views.

Pseudoepigrapha and Video Games Don't Mix

by VorJack

Via Game Blend, a new video game is coming out that is based … excuse me, “based” on the Book of Enoch:

El Shaddai: Ascension Of The Megatron Breathtaking Debut Trailers

The book of Enoch was one of the coolest books of the Bible no one ever got to read in the original KJV. Nevertheless, Ignition Entertainment is taking the missing book of Enoch and turning it into one kick-butt game called El Shaddai.

The book of Enoch is originally what spawned great works like The Divine Comedy, and subsequently, Dante’s Inferno. The new game based on the book follows Enoch’s journey to bring back the soul’s of the original Fallen Angels whose actions ultimately resulted in the great flood.

Alright, number one: That’s Metatron, who appears in 3rd Enoch. Metatron is supposedly Enoch, who was taken up into heaven and exalted to become one of the God’s highest angles, or even a lesser God. He is described thus:

This Enoch, whose flesh was turned to flame, his veins to fire, his eye-lashes to flashes of lightning, his eye-balls to flaming torches, and whom God placed on a throne next to the throne of glory, received after this heavenly transformation the name Metatron.

Or you can just think of him as Alan Rickman from Dogma:

Megatron is a Transformer. He’s the leader of the Decepticons and violates the heck out of the law of Conservation of Mass by transforming into a handgun.

There’s a little bit of a difference.

Hypocritical Offensiveness

(source)

Jesus is History’s Fault

by VorJack

If you want to understand the history of Israel, look at a map. For some reason, God placed his chosen people on land in a very bad neighborhood. In ancient times, the kingdoms of Northern Israel and Judah were stuck between the three greatest world powers of the day: Egypt, Mesopotamia and the Hittite Empire. Israel was destined to have a turbulent life.

Israel’s position was a blessing and a curse. Blessing because they controlled the trade routes between the great empires. Curse, because those empires could crush them and take control. For most of its existence, Israel was a football passed around by the great empires.

Fall of the Bronze Age

Pullquote: It was probably the greatest collapse in the ancient world, and the greatest loss to civilization until the fall of Rome.

In the late 13th century, most of Canaan was under indirect Egyptian control through a number of vassal states. But then suddenly, the kingdom of Egypt was beset by a mixed group of raiders that the Egyptians called the “sea people.” Older enemies joined the attack, the Libyans from the west and the Nubians from the south. Egypt was weakened, broke apart, and lost control over their vassals in Canaan.

The Hittite Empire collapsed at about the same time, beset by the sea peoples as well as older, inland foes. In Mesopotamia, Assyria and Babylon face new threats in the form of the Aramaeans. All told, by the mid-twelfth century, the three great empires had been rolled back. It was probably the greatest collapse in the ancient world, and the greatest loss to civilization until the fall of Rome.

But it did create a window of opportunity in the Levant.

Not that the Canaanites had everything their own way. Some of the “sea people” who had attacked Egypt settled into towns along the southern coast of Canaan that had previously been under Egyptian control. These would become known as the Philistines, and they’d be the force that would inadvertently unify Canaan.

United Monarchy

Pullquote: Solomon came to power after the usual dynastic bloodbath, and he set about consolidating what his father had conquered.

The Philistines likely settled in and took some time to get established. Once that was done, it must have been time to expand. This expansion came at a cost to the current residents of Canaan, who at the time lived in small and separate kingdoms and cantons. Their lack of unity most likely made them easy pickings for the more aggressive Philistines.

So the Canaanites sensibly decided to unify and find a single figure to lead their military. Their choice was Saul, who was at least able to create a standing army. This didn’t translate into lasting military success, and Saul was usurped by David.

David was able to hold the Philistines in check, though he never defeated them completely. He was able to expand the empire and spread outside the borders that had originally held the tribes of Canaan. But he suffered domestic problems. Saul had been from the North, while David was a Southern boy. The more developed North didn’t take this well, and David violently suppressed Northern revolts.

Things didn’t improve for the next generation. Solomon came to power after the usual dynastic bloodbath, and he set about consolidating what his father had conquered. In doing so, he placed much of the tax burden on the North, treating it more like a conquered territory than part of a unified whole. Perhaps this disunity explains why the military fate of the country began to go downhill, as Solomon saw some of his father’s gains get retaken by their original owners.

It all came to a head after the death of Solomon. The larger, more prosperous north broke off. The Unified Monarchy ended.

Legacy

Pullquote: Roughly three generations – let’s call it 90 years – of rough unity beginning with Saul and ending with Solomon. Yet this is the golden age that a great deal of the Bible hearkens back to.

And that’s it, really. The great powers of Assyria and the Babylon returned, renewing their control over the area. Northern Israel went on to become a local power, but was eventually destroyed by the Assyrians. Little Judah – small and weak enough to be ignored – lasted a bit longer. Long enough, at any rate, to write down a lot of stories explaining how they got where they were.

Roughly three generations – let’s call it 90 years – of rough unity beginning with Saul and ending with Solomon. Yet this is the golden age that a great deal of the Bible hearkens back to. It gave rise to a lot of the concepts that would later be applied to Jesus: Davidic king, messiah/christ/”anointed one”, son of God.

The Fall of the Bronze Age created a power vacuum in the Levant that the tribes of Canaan were able to fill, for a while. The legacy of that brief period is with us every time we open the Bible.