Crock-o-duck is annoying. Every time I run into it, I realize that we’re going to have to start from the very beginning and dispel all the common misunderstandings about evolution before proceeding. It’s fractally wrong.

This is from Way of the Master: Prague, part of the dynamic duo’s trek through Europe spreading the good news of crock-o-duck. Sorry, Europe, but religious ignorance seems to be the only thing that America can export these days.

Via American Jesus.

(Note: Do we really need separate “Oh the Stupidity!” and “Ray Comfort Mania” tags? Isn’t the second just a sub-category of the first?)

For the most part it’s a standard “multiple worlds” hypothesis story, where every decision you make is made in a different way by an alternate you in another dimension. We’re all familiar with that sci-fi plot device, right?

That’s when it gets weird:

Welcome to the Infinite You.

Quantum Jumping is a visualization process where you use your mind to ‘jump’ into parallel dimensions, and gain creativity, knowledge, wisdom, skills and inspiration from alternate versions of yourself.

This happens through a phenomenon known as “thought transference.” You see, although the solidity of our world seems indisputable, Quantum Theory suggests that our physical reality is nothing but a very elaborate mirage. A super-hologram of information and energy. A Matrix.

From there we get New Thought taken to an extreme. It’s not just that the “law of attraction” will make your thoughts become reality. Instead, reality itself is nothing more than thought: “the substance of the universe, of your reality, may be nothing more than consciousness or thought.”

You can pretty much fill in the blanks from there. By using these special mental techniques, you can be richer, happier, healthier, etc.

It was seen by hundreds of people — even more than saw the resurrected Jesus! If you don’t believe, just watch this video. Why would people lie?

How can you argue with a magical flute? Checkmate, aleprechaunists.

Today, the news report was “songified” by The Gregory Brothers. Watch it. Now.

Comfort and Cameron made a secret recording of the ritual. (which is at least unethical and likely illegal, but whatev.) They played clips of it on their adventure on the “Way of the Master” podcast, but that particular episode seems to have disappeared. Fortunately, the “satanic panic” quasi-parody site Objective Ministries saved a copy of that segment, and it’s available on their website.

“If listening to Pagan religions try to contact their deities gives you the creeps … um, Sean Hannity is on, you might want to tune in to him.”

I’m sorry, but what’s the difference? Are you telling me that Hannity isn’t offering up incense to the genius of Ronald Reagan?

Most of the problems that Cameron seems to have with the group come down to the fact that this isn’t Protestant Christianity. Words like “orthodoxy” don’t have much meaning without a power structure to enforce them. I think he’s a bit confused by the fluidity and diversity of the movement. Since his ministry is dedicated to reducing Christianity into a series of non-negotiable bullet-points, his reaction doesn’t surprise me.

At least Cameron does seem to have paid attention. Or at least, read their website. Which is what makes the whole thing so baffling.

Do you think that Druids are really a strange and secretive lot? Read their blogs.

Do you think your Johnny is dabbling in dark magic? Check his Facebook page.

Think it may be Satanism? Well, is it Theistic Satanism or Non-theistic Satanism? Perhaps you’d better read some of their faqs.

Honestly, if there was an evil occult conspiracy, it would have a blog circle, a webforum and half a dozen junior members policing its Wikipedia page.

Obviously, as Christian Nightmares points out, this is a jab at us atheists. We don’t believe in God simply because we cannot see Him. Let’s set aside that overly simplistic slander for the moment.

On the face of it, this is nonsense. Of course I can see my brain. Granted, I can’t bounce photons off of it the way I can with something outside of my head. But I’ve had multiple MRI scans for sinus problems, and there was a brain located behind the sinus polyps.

But maybe we should replace the word ‘brain’ with ‘mind’. Mind is a trickier concept than brain. While the mind arises from the physical state of the brain, the mind is more of a process or a system than a physical thing. Comparing the mind with God in this case can lead to some very interesting theology.

Or maybe they’re trying to make a different point. I am my mind. The reason I cannot see my mind is because I cannot step outside myself. That could be an interesting point for pantheists. The reason we cannot see God is because we are part of God.

I’m reminded of the of the part of Good Omens where Anathema tries, and fails, to read Adam’s aura. She missed it for a very simple reason, “It was for the same reason that people in Trafalgar Square can’t see England.”

I still remember an episode of Unsolved Mysteries from the same era. A young man had died by falling down a cliff. Possible accident, possible suicide, possible homicide. But the show had to have an over-dramatic scene of the boy’s mother going into his room and finding sketches of minotaurs and dragons in his desk. Then the voice of good ol’ Robert Stack, ” … he had entered the world of …. Dungeons and Dragons!” **dramatic chord!**

Honestly, I’ve been sick this past week, so I don’t have the energy to pick this apart. I’ll leave it up to you. My only regret is that it’s probably too silly to garner any attention from more serious historians. I suspect you could write a book on the fallacies.

Via Jesus Needs New Pr.

At first I thought it was an elaborate joke, but it didn’t take long to discover that it’s actually a still from a new Tea Party sponsored documentary (I use the term loosely) which basically seeks to establish that Krischun ‘Muuurkha = Good, and Left Wing Soshalism = EBUL.

Strap in folks, it’s about to get crazy:

Click here to view the embedded video.

And now it’s going to get even crazier:

Click here to view the embedded video.

The guy in the second video is such an obvious liar that it’s a little bit painful to try to watch all the way through, but do your best.

The religious right accusing everybody else of historical revisionism and promoting an inclusive mind-set… The irony burns.

As we approach the next election, the examples are worse. Chuck Norris? Seriously? Seriously seriously?

But somehow the worst is Victoria Jackson. She’s just so … baffling. She’s playing a ditzy blonde character while ranting about Tea Party talking points. Is she joking? Is she serious?

Julia Sweeny, who has apparently been a target of Jackson’s, believes that she’s serious. Or to put it another way, “She’s not Andy Kaufman,” so she’s not yanking the audiences’ chain. She wants the laughs she gets from her “dumb blond” character, but also believes the opinions that character is spouting.

Sweeny considers how counterproductive Jackson’s style is:

To me it would be like, like if there was a “comedian” who’s character was a Marxist-Leninist. He wears a beard and small round glasses and all black and he says things like: The Government should own all the land! People should not be allowed to own any money! Free Enterprise should be stopped!

And then he has a soap box that he carries around with him, and he puts it out there – and it even says “Soap Box” on it, and he gets on top of it and yells and gesticulates like a cartoon of communism.

And he’s on talk shows and everyone laughs at how nutty he is.

Only he really believes what he’s saying. He may be somewhat confused about why people are laughing. But he doesn’t care enough to analyze it, he really just wants the laughs. He hears the laughs, and he’ll happily take the laughs.

Now, wouldn’t you have a certain contempt for this person?

That makes Jackson sound like she’s desperate for the attention, not matter what kind of attention. But in playing both self-mocking comedian and pundit at once, she’s doing more damage to her side than anything else. Which, of course, means that I hope she keeps it up.