I grew up in North Carolina, the state currently at the center of this argument. My problem with this picture is that the creator assumes that most folks now accept interracial marriage. From my experience, the opposition isn’t dead, it’s merely gotten quiet.

How many times have you heard some sort of deterministic, flowery phrase that generally goes like this, “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life”? If you run in Christian circles this is generally accompanied with some poached Bible verses, “Before you were born, even when the Lord was forming you in your Mother’s womb. He knew you. And even more, the Lord declares, ‘I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you.’”

He quotes Bill Hybels, “He’s the God who has orchestrated every event of your life to give you the best chance to get to know Him, so that you can experience His love.”

Bailey’s responses are brutal, but I’ll let you view them on his site. What struck me was the contrast between this idea that the all-wise, all-knowing God has a carefully scripted plan for your life, and the way that some Christians use intercessory prayer. If God already has a plan in place, what’s the point of praying for something to happen or not happen?

For an extreme example, consider this image from The American Jesus, where Zack found this line on the back on a book by Benny Hinn. Note the arrow:

These two ideas exist side by side in contemporary American Christianity. On one hand, God had a plan for you already laid out before you were even born. On the other, God will drop that plan if you ask nicely. How do you maintain both ideas at the same time?

It’s bad when a church tries to co-opt popular culture, it gets worse when they’re 30+ years off the mark.

Via American Jesus

We’ve taken the cherubim and changed them from the fierce guardians of Eden into chubby little naked children with wings.

If someone really was born in a stable, it would be an ugly scene with blood on the straw and the smell of afterbirth and manure. We’s sanitized it and put it on Hallmark cards.

Somehow, “Biblical” has come to mean “wholesome” in American culture. So Rachel Held Evans presents these Biblical entries into the cloying “Precious Moments” line. Here’s my favorite:

And also:

These were originally created by Tom LaMothe, pastor of First Baptist Church in Greenport, New York. I’d say they are pitch perfect.

Via Exploring our Matrix

Via Jesus Needs New PR, who originally mistook this for a lamp.

How exactly do you win, when the founder of the religion won by dying? Does “the last shall be first and the first shall be last” mean that the victor is the last to cross the finish line? Obviously there can be no Monopoly style rent, since usury is prohibited by the Bible.

Via Scotteriology and Christian Nightmares.

Finally we’ll get to know whether He prefers underhand or overhand.

Actually, I’d kinda like to know the contents of this sermon. There’s basically nothing in the Bible about this topic, unless you try to rope in poor Onan. My guess is that it will be a few Biblical passages stripped of context and extended way too far.

Via Christian Nightmares

Americans build too many churches. This is more of a problem, because they’re usually too large to fit in the library’s drop-off slot.

So the website Mental Floss has collected 11 New Uses for Old Churches. Here are some of my favorites:

This is the Phi Sigma Kappa fraternity house, associated with Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. This seems like an appropriate use for an old Catholic church, since the clergy looks like an aging fraternity anyway. (I’m just a few miles south of RPI. How did I miss this?)

Laser tag! Scrambling over pews and taking cover behind the alter for that perfect “urban combat” feel.

BTW, anybody else remember when laser tag and it’s knock-offs were absolutely huge? Remember when laser tag had a Saturday morning cartoon show? I do. I’d like those brain cells back now, please.

And of course, the Atlanta Freethought Society purchased this Baptist church. With the numbers of church-goers declining and the number of atheists increasing, this only makes sense. Where else are you going to store all those atheists? We’re notoriously hard to pack.

Donny Pauling used to grace our comments and forums. I see that he’s still pushing himself as a “former porn producer.” I guess that’s not unlikely, but I have to admit that I’m skeptical. We meet so many “former witches,” “former atheists,” and “former satanists,” that I can’t help suspecting that Donny is just as full of it as all the rest.

I also don’t know why someone would go to a former porn producer for sex advice. That’s like getting cooking tips from someone who used to make plastic food. Of course, it’s no worse than going to the Bible, which was written in a time when the authors still thought that the child’s traits were set by what the mother was looking at during conception (Genesis 30:37-39).