Rick Perlstein has a great new article up at the Rolling Stone with the apt but cumbersome title, “Behind the Right’s Phony War on the Nonexistent Religion of Secularism.” I particularly like the background he provides:

One of the most robust and effective conspiracy theories on the right, the notion that “secularism” – or, just as often, “Secular Humanism” – is a religion is meant to be taken entirely literally: right wingers genuinely believe it refers to an actually existing religious practice. How do conservatives know? Because, they say, the Supreme Court said so. It was, as religious historian and Lutheran minister Martin E. Marty has written, “an instance where one can date precisely the birth of a religion: June 19, 1961.” That was the day the Court ruled in the case of Torcaso v. Watkins striking down the Maryland Constitution’s requirement of “a declaration of belief in the existence of God” to hold “any office of profit or trust in this state” — specifically, in atheist Roy Torcaso’s case, the office of notary public. In his decision, Justice Hugo Black, writing for a unanimous court, further asserted that states and the federal government could not favor religions “based on a belief in the existence of God as against those religions founded on different beliefs” – and, in a fateful, ill-considered, and entirely offhand footnote explained: “Among religions in this country which do not teach what would be generally be considered a belief in the existence of God are Buddhism, Taoism, Ethical Culture, Secular Humanism and others.”

From here, things get wacky. As unearthed by the outstanding scholar Carol Mason in her masterpiece “Reading Appalachia from Left to Right,” in 1974 a Jesuit priest and Fordham University law professor named Edward Berbasse argued that “since humanism is now considered by the court to be a religion , it must be prevented from being established by the government.” An activist asked him if that meant they could win their fight to ban the satanic textbooks being forced down their children’s throats in Kanawha County, West Virginia by taking the matter to the Supreme Court. “I think you may have the material if you can get a crackerjack lawyer,” Father Berbasse responded. A Supreme Court case was never actually attempted – not least because, as Chip Berlet and Matthew Lyons have pointed out, “While historically there has been an organized humanist movement in the United States since at least the 1800s, the idea of a large-scale quasireligion called secular humanism is a conspiracist myth.” In Kanawha County, the textbook fight was fought out with dynamite instead. Nationwide, however, the conspiracist myth took on a life of its own – even unto the halls of Congress.

I also loved this part:

Liberals, dumbfounded by irrationality in that patented liberal way, pointed out that the number of people calling themselves “secular humanists” was only a handful, so how could they possibly possess such omnipotence. Well, fundamentalists would counter, doesn’t that just prove the success of their conspiracy?

Ain’t America grand?

*groan* America was founded on that kind of thinking. Is the British Government placing a minuscule tax on tea? It’s a conspiracy! The small size of the tax is just proof that they’re trying to lull us into a sense of complacency. Paranoia: America’s first founding principle.

The Wild Hunt has been following a situtation in the Buncombe County school district. The situation was kicked off by Ginger Strivelli, a Pagan mother who was irritated by the school’s habit of passing out Gideon Bibles.

The school officials said that they were just “making Bible available,” and said that is some other group wanted to supply religious texts like the Gideons, then the school would make those available as well. Strivelli put that to the test by supply various Pagan books, and the administration blinked. They elected to review their policy on distributing religious material.

Recently a new policy was drafted: Policy 652. It’s a broad policy on religion in the school. It seems fairly moderate by my standards, allowing such things as a “moment of silence.” Frustratingly, it doesn’t actually include a policy on religious material distributed by outside groups, as that is still under review. It recently came up for a vote, and the debate was acrimonious.

I suspect that you can fill in most of the arguments yourself. If you can’t, Angela Pippinger of The Pagan Mom Blog reports that all the usual tropes were there. First was the guy who wanted everyone to know that the whole problem was the fault of outside agitators one lone student:

The most crazy part of the evening is when a gentleman by the name of Honeycutt called out Ginger Strivelli by name. This is not the first time he did this, he has done it at EVERY meeting and sticks by the story that this is a work of Ginger all by herself and everyone else supports bibles being school. He states this after Baptist ministers, Rabbi’s, UU ministers, Presbyterians, and Catholics stand up in support of the policy!

Isolate and minimize the other party. Classic reactionary tactics.

And of course the old “you’re banning prayer!” reaction:

And speaking of blatant ignorance, more people could not get it through their thick heads that kids were not being instructed that they could not pray. Several children got up to speak about how they were going to pray anyway and the school could just kick them out.

Despite all this, the policy passed unanimously. I suspect that this reflects the fact that the policy really is moderate. Byron Ballard, a local columnist, comments:

We will have to police the system for years to come, calling, demanding, emailing. Every time a child whose parents practice a minority religion is othered or belittled or otherwise bullied because of that–someone will have to contact the system and demand that something be done.

Even if the policy had no loop-holes, the situation would require constant vigilance. Unless Buncombe County has changed in the decade since I lived there, it’s overwhelming Evangelical Christian. A majority like that is always going to have problems remembering to respect the rights of the minority. Even well intentioned members of the majority will find themselves leading prayers and pushing Bibles, simply because that’s what everybody does.