Yet Another Apocalypse

Commentor Peter left us a link to another apocalyptic prediction that is even weirder than Weinland. From Canada’s National Post:

Doris Rosado watches her teenage daughters, Ninette and Kiara Mongrut, get the numbers “666” tattooed on their wrists, beaming with pride. The number typically conjures up biblical symbolism tied to the Antichrist, but this St. Catharines, Ont., family belongs to a obscure Christian sect for which “666” is a positive symbol of their group’s messianic leader.

“They wanted to do it,” Ms. Rosado, 45, said at the St. Catharines tattoo parlour where her daughters were inked. “But now it’s more important because we’re counting down… I’m so proud.”

For this family, and other members of Growing in Grace International, these tattoos are a way of demonstrating their faith as true believers of Jose de Luis de Jesus — who they fervently believe is the second coming of Jesus Christ — before a day of reckoning they believe will wipe out most of humanity.

The group, which they say has branches in five Canadian cities and members in more than 130 countries, believes that on June 30 (or July 1 across the international dateline), their Texas-based leader and his followers will be transformed, said Alex Poessy, the group’s bishop in Canada.

Apparently Mr. de Jesus is located in Texas, but there is a small following in Canada. I don’t imagine there a too many things that cross cultures like that. Anyway, most of Mr. de Jesus’ prophecies sound similar to Weinland’s: collapse of governments, bankruptcy of the monetary system, etc. The transformation of his followers is an interesting twist, and it seems to be inspired by Marvel Comics rather than the Bible:

But Mr. de Jesus also predicts that the “transformation” will endow him, and his loyal followers, with superpowers, such as the ability to fly and walk through walls, said Axel Cooley, the bishop’s daughter.

“[We can] run and not get tired. Go through fire and not get burned…. I could be talking to you right now, and then I could go through that wall. So, you’ll know there is a difference,” Cooley said.

Quantum Leap

Oh dear. Scott Bailey found this website, and it is truly absurd. It appears to be New Thought taken in a slightly different direction than we’re used to. Are you ready for better living through alternate dimensions? Welcome to Quantum Jumping:

For the most part it’s a standard “multiple worlds” hypothesis story, where every decision you make is made in a different way by an alternate you in another dimension. We’re all familiar with that sci-fi plot device, right?

That’s when it gets weird:

Welcome to the Infinite You.

Quantum Jumping is a visualization process where you use your mind to ‘jump’ into parallel dimensions, and gain creativity, knowledge, wisdom, skills and inspiration from alternate versions of yourself.

This happens through a phenomenon known as “thought transference.” You see, although the solidity of our world seems indisputable, Quantum Theory suggests that our physical reality is nothing but a very elaborate mirage. A super-hologram of information and energy. A Matrix.

From there we get New Thought taken to an extreme. It’s not just that the “law of attraction” will make your thoughts become reality. Instead, reality itself is nothing more than thought: “the substance of the universe, of your reality, may be nothing more than consciousness or thought.”

You can pretty much fill in the blanks from there. By using these special mental techniques, you can be richer, happier, healthier, etc.

Things You Will Only Hear On The Internet

A team of quadrotor flying robots play the James Bond theme song:

“Sweet Home Alabama” being played on two solid-state Tesla coils:

Purity Bear Strikes Back

Young couple in love … soft music … holding hands … deranged teddy bear …

“He loves pizza too, but then he dumps the box as soon as he’s done with it.”

Sometimes I think the whole “wait till marriage” movement is just a contest to find the most condescending metaphor for young women possible.

Swiped from Friendly Atheist.

Singing in Tongues

Over the years, we’ve all been impressed by William Tapley and his musical misadventures. But now here’s a Pentecostal doing him one better: by singing in tongues!

Truly a Christian Nightmare.