Some Slack for the Tense on the Holidays

I know, I know—some people just love the holiday season—“the hap-, hap-, happiest time of the year” and all that. Good for you. Some of us don’t feel so well this time of year. Perhaps it is the prohibitive distance to visit loved ones; perhaps it is grief over lost loved ones; perhaps it’s that [Read More…]

Why Would Anyone Want to be a Minister?

My mother says I was born serious. Could be. For example, I remember that when I was six or seven one of the neighborhood kids slapped me. I turned the other cheek. Because . . . well, I went to Sunday school is why. I was a serious kid. (Or at least a kid who [Read More…]

Giving TUUesday

While many people in this country go to work and get paid, social change workers often do the work and then have to hustle to get paid for the work. On this #GivingTuesday, the non-profit world’s answer to Black Friday and Cyber Monday, you may receive many asks for donations. Take some time to discern how [Read More…]

Grace for the Rest of Us

Grace. Some say it before meals. Some have it for a name. Grace-ful people have grace in abundance. It’s also theological concept, and that’s where I run into trouble. When people learn that I’m not a theist, I’m sometimes told in a very knowing way that only theists have a theory of grace. The reason [Read More…]

Fear Not

“The one most frequently repeated command in the Bible is not “love your neighbor,” but “fear not.” And if there is one thing that we need in our world, if there’s one thing that we should write on our mirror and see every morning when we look into the mirror, it’s “fear not.” If we [Read More…]

Helping Black Lives Matter at the White Thanksgiving Table

Apparently, some people are hoping for Adele to come to their Thanksgiving dinner and soothe angry arguments between family members. For the rest of us, preparing for tough conversations is one way to make them a little less difficult. One of those conversations in many families this year will be about the Black Lives Matter [Read More…]

Words, Words, and the Word Was With . . .

In his play Hamlet, Shakespeare has the character Polonius ask Hamlet, “What do you read, My Lord?” “Words, words,” Hamlet replies. Polonius says, “But what is the matter, my lord?” “Between who?” “I mean the matter that you read, my lord.” “Matter.” Shakespeare loved words that cut two ways. “Matter,” as in what’s the matter? [Read More…]

Things that get in the way

I often tell the story of the time my Chaplain Supervisor told me, “Deanna, I wish you would stop being so hard on yourself” (She paused here and I had a moment to think sweetly “Oh, she really cares about me.” This tenderness quickly faded as she continued) – “because then you would stop being [Read More…]

Redemption

Late last night a member of my congregation was killed. She was someone who cared deeply about her spiritual life, who not only took classes through our church but also was moved to go through seminary. She was someone who believed, as Unitarian Universalists do, in growth, in possibility, in the urge toward the good, [Read More…]

Mansplaining, Whitesplaning, and the Power of Listening

Totally unprepared are you To face a world of men Timid and shy and scared are you Of things beyond your ken The composition date is 1959, the composers Rogers and Hammerstein, the musical The Sound of Music. “You are Sixteen Going on Seventeen” is perhaps the epitome of mansplaining. Mansplaining. It’s about speaking from [Read More…]


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