Seeing Job in the Mirror

It’s been a challenging week for us. The circumstances seem to be piling up. We continually struggle with infertility, our hopes rising and crashing in four-week cycles. There is a bug infestation in our NYC apartment. We don’t have central air and the humid days can be suffocating.

When I brush my teeth in the morning, I look at my reflection and see Job in the mirror. There is nothing near the tragedy Job actually dealt with present in my life. Just the tragedy of inconvenience. It’s a weird thing to make eye contact with yourself, to hold that stare for a minute and see what you see. I see a man tired, worn, frustrated.

Bigger Picture

I once had a friend who asked me to remember a traumatic circumstance in my life. He asked me to explain what I saw and how I felt, to relive the memory. Once I was good and bummed out, he invited me to look around and see the things I had not noticed before. Specifically, he asked me ‘Where is Jesus when this is happening? Is he in the corner watching, kneeling next to you?’

Whether you are religious or not, the idea is intriguing. There is always more to what is going on than we can see. In fact, there is more that we see than we remember seeing! Psychiatrists and police investigators use tactics like the one my friends suggested to help us see the things we don’t remember seeing. To remind us that we have made a choice to focus on certain aspects, but there is more out there.

Even as I look at Job in the mirror, I see that there is more around me than just my tired eyes. There are hints of resiliency. Not just that, but there is a room behind me. There is a bigger picture.

We tend to focus in on the circumstances that make us feel out of control. We cast ourselves as the victims and lament over the sadness around us. Some of this is necessary. It’s even good for us! Ignoring the pain is worse than acknowledging it. But, we humans have a difficult time with balance. We want the sorrow to mean everything or nothing.

The sad circumstances plaguing my life are not the full story. There is more going on, things to be thankful for. There is hope, and there is goodness. These realities do not negate the sorrow, but the help put them in proper context.

Adjusted Focus

Have you ever taken a photo with your camera where there is an object in the foreground and another in the distant background? This happened to me yesterday. We were walking across the Manhattan Bridge and a lock with a loving inscription was clasped to the fencing next to us. In the distance was the Manhattan skyline and a beautiful sunset.

I wanted to take a picture of the lock with the skyline in the background. My camera was utterly confused. It couldn’t focus on both at the same time. It toggled between a fuzzy lock and then a fuzzy skyline and then just everything became fuzzy.

The balance between big picture and circumstances does not mean that both will get equal weight. This is why we end up casting ourselves as victims – we know the scale has to settle on one side or the other and we most often focus our lens on the circumstance.

In the book of Job, we see an inspiring model of how to handle disappointing, frustrating, and even tragic situations. Job acknowledges the pain. He acknowledges the bigger picture. And he makes a choice about which to focus on.

Our focus is a lot like the picture of the lock and the skyline. A toggled and confused focus. But at the end of the day, like Job, we must decide which to focus on. Otherwise, the entire scene becomes confused and blurry.

I cannot un-see the difficult things happening around me. And I don’t want to. But if I can find a way to focus on the bigger picture, the circumstances will not drive me. They won’t lead or master my perspective and behavior.

It’s easier said than done. But Job in the mirror is not just about a tragic figure. It is about a man of great faith. An opportunity for perseverance. A chance to ask the big questions and discover the deep pull of purpose.