You know THOSE Psychics.
We have all seen THOSE psychics.
I had one chase me around the supermarket with a broom once, but that is another story. A recent search turned up over three quarters of a million results as to “Why I hate psychics”!
Divination month is continuing here on Voodoo Universe with this list, which could either be very popular or cause some ranting. Join me as we examine why most of the time the fault lies in the person reading the stars, not within ourselves.
- Weird Sells – Psychics can be strange. There is a reason that the Shamanic practitioners of yesteryear were on the edges of society. They are the fringes of the fringe. Maybe this is where magick happens, or at least where it’s easier to access. This psychic we shall refer to as MONDO BIZARRO. They may be real, or maybe not, but they are always entertaining.
- The Truth- We can’t handle it. This is one of the few things on this list that rests with the seeker and not the reader. I guarantee my readings, and in 30 years I have only returned one woman’s money, and because I wanted to, not at her request. Most people however want to argue with what the cards are saying. They want to smoke the “hopium” and believe things are better, or in most cases much worse than the future holds. I’m not really sure why they get a reading to begin with, I’m calling these folks DOUBTING THOMAS.
- The Unknown= Fear = Evil. Some of these “crappy” psychics make their money by instilling fear. Lisa Turner, a British psychic herself, describes this unpleasant tendency saying “the client’s free will is completely enslaved by the psychic to the extent that they can’t decide whether to have marmite or jam on their toast without a consultation.” FEAR DEARS are the names of these.
- Cross My Palm, but don’t cross me. One of my priestesses likes to say “that most spiritual practitioners are crazy and they can’t really make a living anywhere else.” It is easy to see how the opportunity to take advantage of someone in need could be great. This psychic we shall call OPPORTUNIVORE.
- Bad Press. The Media has capitalized on the strange and bizarre world of the psychic since it began. Over the years we have seen this repeatedly . This shall henceforth be known as MADAME SATAN, after the Hollywood film of the same name.
- Jealousy- Once people start from the position that having insight about the future is impossible, of course they are going to dislike people who they believe claim differently. Haters got to Hate. Similar to number 2 above this problem is on the seeker. Try not to be a Mc HATEY like these people.
- Scammed Bam No Thank You M’aam. – It has been my experience that magick in many instances is a system where the stakes increase as time goes on. A situation that only took one candle to help with in the beginning, may need two or three when you come back to the psychic table asking for more. We are all familiar with stories of psychics that told people they were horribly cursed, had to return with greater and greater sums of money until they are throwing grandma’s gold jewelry off a bridge in a classic bait and switch. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again this is the lowest common denominator of psychic, we are not all like this. These dubious psychics bear the name SIR SCAM-A-LOT.
- Psychic/psychology -Many psychic readers confuse their services with amateur psychology. Ummmm there are laws against these things. This kind of psychic is described as FREUDIAN SLIPPED.
I have been a tarot/palm/psychic reader for almost three decades. I started years before I published my first book Voodoo and Afro-Caribbean Paganism. Over the years I have done readings everywhere from a parking lot at a Grateful Dead Show to a wellness event for corporate Bloomberg. One of the most memorable events I ever attended was a launch party for a Fashionista magazine here in New York. The event was hipster fantasy. There were artistic television installations, and furry walls, and this was years before Russell Brand sang about those. The idea was to have a psychic reading room for people. I packed up my milk crate to sit on, some purple fairy lites for artistic effect, and the Psychic Readings sign I had found abandoned on the street the month before. I sat down and introduced myself to the other psychic. It quickly became clear as she explained to me she was a psychology major and readings were just a way for people to express their issues. Then she put on a tinfoil hat, literally. So beware the tinfoil hat people, we are not all insane. There are wonderful readers out there, you could get a reading from me or any of the great people I have profiled here on the blog. Read more about them in the links below and have a blessed day!
Divination Space Station with interviews from Orion Foxwood, Bernadette Montana, Dorothy Morrison, Tehron Gillis, Vinnie Russo, Taylor Ellwood, Awo Robert Ogbe Di, Raven Moon’s Oracle, and myself, Lilith Dorsey.