Scenes from a Grocery Store

I’ve been working at the grocery store for about a month now and it hasn’t been what I expected. Surprisingly, I actually really like it there. It’s getting me out of the house and also out of my own head, which is more of a blessing than I realized. I had no idea how deeply I’d been living in just rumination and mental exercise until I stepped out of it for a little bit each day and it was so refreshing. I feel like I’ve kind of reset myself.

I’ve felt contentment and joy in ways that I haven’t had in many years. I feel like myself again.

I love seeing people and talking to them and trying to bring some joy into their lives. I can feel myself radiating happiness. Even being an introvert who taught herself small talk from Star Trek TNG I am feeling energized by interacting with all these different people. It’s a strange way to serve people but it is serving and it does give me the chance to put into practice treating every person as a manifestation of God.

There can be some really strange moments too. One guy told me that he calls bindi wearers “push start” and turban wearers “pull start.” I didn’t know what to say to that! He was saying it in a joking way but it was such a bizarre statement. I’ve been scaring some of the customers with my sindoor. Now that I’m using a liquid bindi and sindoor it does tend to look more like a cut on my head. I need to find a way to do it that doesn’t look like some terrible prank.

I was proud of myself for not blowing up when one woman told me that the “word of the day is ‘pray.’ Because Jesus is coming back for us soon.” I just said, “Well, the weather has been awfully strange. Perhaps it is the apocalypse.”  I was not so gentle when a couple of proselytizers came in. They were buying groceries from my coworker and I overheard them start talking about apostle Paul. I ignored it. But then they pulled out a postcard about their church for my coworker. Still ignored it. Then as they were walking out they tried to hand me a postcard. I said, “Not for me, I’m not Christian.”

And you know what he said? He grinned and said, “Well, we all aren’t until we are.”

I said, “I’m Hindu and I’m very happy with my religion” but he was already mostly out the door. That made my blood boil. There’s a sign on the front door that says people are not allowed to distribute literature like that. I think it was highly inappropriate to evangelize in our work place like that. But I know to these people everywhere is a good place to evangelize. That’s the only thing that has made me upset since starting this job.

Another unexpected benefit is being able to practice languages. I had a Deaf customer and once I realized that’s why she wasn’t responding to my small talk, I switched to Sign Language. It was the first time I’ve used the ASL I know since my college classes. I’ve never used it in a practical setting. It felt great to be able to do that. I tried out my Hindi too on a few people but didn’t get a good reaction. I don’t just assume that every Indian I see speaks Hindi but one couple were speaking to each other in Hindi so at the end of their transaction I wished them Shub Ratri. They looked anything but pleased. I guess maybe they didn’t like the idea that I understood them speaking to each other? I don’t know. I had a few more incidents like that. But at least I got over the hurdle of actually saying something in Hindi out loud to someone!

A few people have asked about my bindi and I feel a little awkward about having those conversations at work. When it’s a fellow Hindu asking about it I happily tell them my history. I had a nice chat with one woman about the Sri Shiva Vishnu temple near us. When it’s non-Hindus I try to direct the conversation to something else because it doesn’t seem like the right time or place to talk about my faith.  

But yeah, over all this has been a very nice experience and I’m happy to be doing work that I feel good about and that has an immediate effect on people that I can see. 

Other benefits include sleeping more soundly than I have in years, getting a better understanding of how sales and coupons work from the other side, good exercise from walking over and then standing for my shifts, and a clearer head.