The Desire to Possess

When I was a kid I knew how to just appreciate beauty. I could admire something and enjoy it without the following need to posses it. Now that I’m adult and I have the means to buy things my ability to enjoy the beauty around me is being eroded.

When I see a beautiful woman wearing a really cool outfit I can’t just admire and enjoy how nice it all looks. Immediately my brain starts trying to figure out how I can do the same look, how I can posses this thing that I find beautiful. I want it for myself, not just to enjoy looking at it in someone else.

It’s quite tiring and I miss the days when beauty was something I got pleasure from and then let go when it was out of sight. Now when I see something beautiful I also feel the desire to own it.

It’s everywhere, too. A beautiful garden…how can I get that? A nice color on a house…how do I get that? Pretty earrings on a co-worker…how do I get that?

I wonder how I can go back to just getting joy out of seeing beauty that belongs to other people.