Updates

Updates August 26, 2015

How have I been doing on my plans? Pretty well!

1) Flylady. We’re still going strong with keeping the house tidy. I’m not doing everything on Flylady yet, but I go easy on myself and stick with the basics. My kitchen has been clear most evenings (and when it isn’t I get it done first thing the next morning). I’m feeling really good about it.

2) Doing the extra step. Also going well. For example, at work I saw a piece of lettuce on the floor across the aisle from me. Ordinarily I’d see it but ignore it and wait for someone else to deal with it. This time I walked over and picked it up immediately. I’ve been doing that a lot.

3) Job situation. I’m in a weird place with this one. Once I’m at my job I tend to enjoy it. I like my coworkers and spending time with them. I like helping the customers. I like getting out of the house. When I’m working at home I get super antsy and down. But when I’m not at the job I dread going to it and work myself up into a terrible state anticipating it. I still want the freedom to set my own schedule and have variety. I still think the solution is a temp agency and we’re in the process of getting a second car so I can try that. The other aspect to work on is how sad I get when I’m home all day. For that I’ve started creating a list of free things to do in the area so that when I feel bored or cabin-fever I’ll know what my options are immediately.

It’s tough when I’m stuck at home all day and then Brad comes home and I feel really down and I say I need to get out and do something but I have no idea what! Now I’ll have a long list of ideas to turn to so I can hit on exactly what will make me feel better that day!

4) Learning Hindi. I’ve been feeling very discouraged with this one. Despite years of hard work I still am not really conversational with Hindi. I know a fair amount but not how to put it all together. Whenever I try I get overwhelmed by how far I still have to go. I’d like to get back to working on it but with a more relaxed pace. Rather than give myself deadlines to meet and metrics to complete, I’ll just take my time and enjoy it without a particular goal.

5) Fertility issues. On one hand I am encouraged that we had an early miscarriage. It means we finally got to the point of pregnancy even if it was just a few brief days. On the other hand I’m sad and frustrated that this has been so hard for us. What comes easily to the vast majority of people is something that we’ve had to claw our way to and we still have only a tiny bit of progress. There’s no guarantees here and I don’t know how to deal with month after month after month of disappointment. After everything I’ve done to heal my body we should now have the odds of a “normal” couple yet we still aren’t parents.

I still have a ways to go in exploring where my happiness lies but I’m glad to be putting some effort into it!


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