Ilana

Ilana January 17, 2017

I can’t believe I’ve lived seven years without my friend Ilana.

Time keeps on marching forward (at least from the limited perspective here in maya). Grief is not raw anymore the way it used to be. I think I’ve accepted that she has moved on to another plane of existence. She still sometimes visits me in my dreams and I cherish that time with her.

Now that I have a son I am sad that he will never know his Aunt Ilana. I am sad too that she was not able to experience motherhood, as she so desperately wanted. I don’t know why I got to have this beautiful life and she did not.

Her picture hangs in our hallway and I wish her spirit well every time I pass it.

Ilana Jonsson
Ilana Jonsson

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