It is the eighth aniversary of the death of my best friend Ilana Jonsson. Each year I write about her and try to keep her memory alive.
I never thought that I would come to a place of peace and acceptance of her being gone. For many years I felt torn in two, unable to really comprehend that she was not coming back. But it seems to be true that time heals. I still miss her, but I am able to accept that the world as it exists right now does not include her particular manifestation of God.
I do wish that she was here to see her family growing and changing. Her sister just got married. Her brother is married and has children. It would make her so happy to see that. I wish she could meet my husband and my children.
I grow old and she does not. I turn 36 this year and she will be 28 forever.
But I no longer cry every time I think of her. I am able to tell people about her, how wonderful and how special she was, without breaking down.
It is my hope that the baby I am currently carrying will be a girl so that I can name her after Ilana.
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