The Baby Battle Plan

Brad and I have spent a lot of time planning and discussing how we want to raise our son (perhaps me a bit more than him with the research and obsessing!) All the while I realize that things never go according to plan. I am reminded of the saying of (apparently) Helmuth von Moltke who said "No battle plan survives contact with the enemy" (thanks to my friend Jeramy for introducing me to this saying). I realize that sounds like I'm calling my baby the enemy but that's not the intention. What I … [Read more...]


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White Hindu Voices

In a world of social justice and discussion of cultural misappropriation, this is a subject that has been weighing on my mind for a while. One of the common complaints that people of color have against white people is that white people's voices are louder and heard more than theirs. That our opinions are valued more and paid attention to more. That our thoughts are considered more valid even when speaking about something that is in the culture and history of a person of color.So it is … [Read more...]


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The Truth About Pregnancy: My Experience

I've discovered that sometimes when people talk about the challenges of pregnancy they get told to shut up and be grateful. "At least you can get pregnant. Count your blessings. Some people are infertile." I think that's tremendously unfair. I am one of those people who has dealt with infertility and it was very crushing to me. But just because people speak honestly about the difficulties that exist in pregnancy it doesn't mean that they are not grateful to be having a baby. It's good to talk … [Read more...]


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I Met God (i.e, Morgan Freeman)

There's a reason Morgan Freeman often plays God or a prophet or a head of state. He has a very regal voice and a tremendous amount of presence. He was a natural choice for the new show coming on the National Geographic Channel: The Story of God. Because it is a six part series examining different faith traditions around the world, I was invited to a special screening of the first episode that also included a Q&A with Morgan Freeman and a cocktail reception ahead of time. It was pretty … [Read more...]


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Death of a Friend: Six Years Later

Every year on the anniversary of her death I hope to introduce new people to my best friend Ilana. She was a bright light in the world, full of joy and life and passion. We lost her very suddenly. One day she was here on earth and the next she was gone, leaving an incredible void in many lives. It's still hard to believe that she's really gone, that I will never hear her laugh again.I called her and left a voice message on the day she died. She may have already been gone while I was … [Read more...]


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The Newest White Hindu

Yesterday we went for our very first ultrasound and got to see our baby! An absolutely amazing experience that is impossible to describe. It has made the whole thing feel more real and helped me to look forward to our future and get excited. I am happy to no longer need to call the baby "It" as we now know...it's a boy!Meet Garrick Ravi Choate!People were right when they reassured me that pregnancy would get easier. The first trimester was pretty brutal but part way into the second it … [Read more...]


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Emotional Masochism

Note: We know that there are problems with the comment system and I'm quite frustrated as I want to hear your thoughts very much! One thing that may help is to pause any adblocker you may have for this site. Please do feel free to go to the "about" tab and contact me to tell me your experiences with the comment section. All information helps us work towards fixing the problem.Over the last several years I have become much more emotionally healthy. I think a lot of us have issues with … [Read more...]


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How Dogs Prepare You For Parenthood

There's a popular saying that getting a dog is a good way to prepare for eventually having a baby. Lately people have been laughing at this idea but I still believe that it is absolutely true.Sure there are some very clear differences. A baby cannot be left alone, while a dog can stay in the house by itself for hours. A baby must be raised responsibly to eventually become a member of society, while spoiling a dog has less dire consequences.However, I have learned some very unexpected and … [Read more...]


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Deja Vu and the Present Moment

One day I was reading Cracked.com (if you've never been there, be careful. It will suck you in for hours!) and I came across a story about a condition of more intense than usual deja vu. Instantly I recognized what they were talking about. I hadn't stopped to think much about it but for most of my life I have experienced a lot of deja vu very frequently. It's not nearly as bad as the guy in the article, but I too have an "inception" experience of deja vu. Most times when I get it I also get the … [Read more...]


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