Here’s what I sent:Quote:”My dream for your child, and for your situation, would be if you could somehow get across to your child that these teachers are good people, and that you trust them, and that while he’s in their care, what they say goes. Try to keep it simple. Make him feel protected and confident that he knows the rules. Don’t confuse him by contesting what he’s being taught in school.”So Cary?s advice is basically that Mom should shut up and keep her weirdness to herself while her child is indoctrinated into a system that brands her a sinner bound for hell? What an utter crock of shit. That Mother should insist that her child not be educated in a Catholic school. Ever. For any reason. If she?s really Pagan, and not just playing at it, she needs to get that child into a positive, open environment, and that will not include a Catholic schooling in this lifetime. If hubby can?t deal, take the kid and split ? a child is too precious to subject it to the life of hatred for others and self-loathing that will come of indoctrination to Catholicism. Her first loyalties as a Pagan are to that kid, herself and her Goddess. Morgaine Swann, H.Ps.

Morgan – I agree until the point where you say, “Take the child and split.” He’s the daddy’s child, too. What if he were to do the same, if she “couldn’t deal”? As well-intentioned as the mother’s motives might be for it, I don’t think that kidnapping is the answer here. For one thing, it’s becoming harder and harder to hide child abductors in our society, and for another, the child might miss out on the opportunity for a positive, open environment if he knew that his mom took him away. I’m not sure about the mom’s situation, or the homeschooling laws in Louisiana but that might be an option; if the public schools are as bad as she describes, there might be an opportunity for a co-op school.

I didn’t mean for her to kidnap the kid – I meant for her to leave the guy if he can’t deal with her being Pagan. That’s her child, from her body – I don’t believe men should have any say at all in how a woman raises her child unless she chooses to let it be so. In this case, he is making demands that harm the child and the child’s relationship to the mother. That is not acceptable under any circumstances. Why is it, whenever you post something, someone always has to take it in the most extreme way possible? I assume I’m talking to reasonable people – maybe I shouldn’t .And let me add, that the position about Catholic schools being any safer or any better than other schools is usually ridiculous. I’ve known people who were educated in Catholic schools, if you can call that education, and believe me, they didn’t get their money’s worth.

A friend recently sent me a link to this column, which I thought was fascinating. I’m always a little bemused by people who pat themselves on the backfor being EVER so much more tolerant and open-minded than Christians,and then bolster their claims with statements like: “I think ofChristianity (as a movement, not a belief) as a plague on humankind.The current incarnation of Christianity in our country seems to me tobe ignorant, small-minded, bigoted and hypocritical.”Painting with a bit of a broad brush, perhaps? Similar to you, my biggest question after reading this column was why the woman who wrote in would be willing to remain in a place that she thinks is full of”darkness and superstition,” where she feels like 90 percent of thepeople surrounding her are “small-minded, guilt-ridden, jump-for-Jesusautomatons,” and where the only alternatives to religious schools aretotal crap? Is this wonderful husband of hers, who is supposedly her”true soul mate,” so preoccupied with his own business that he iswilling to make her live in such a hellhole? Or is it actually aperfectly reasonable (albeit heavily religious) community, and she isjust incapable of respecting and getting along with people whose viewshappen to be different than her own?My sense is that instead of dissecting the beliefs of everyone else inthe community, the person whose beliefs she really needs to becontemplating are her husband’s. It’s as if this woman has based herwhole world view on the idea that what she believes is vastly superiorto Christianity, and hasn’t reconciled herself to the fact that sheMARRIED a Christian. It’s too disturbing to her to be disgusted byher own husbands’ views, so she’s redirecting all of her disgust atthe community and the school. In my experience, it’s very difficult (even traumatic) for people who pride themselves on being tolerant to come face-to-facewith their own intolerance, especially when their intolerance is for the views of people they have chosen to love and defend.