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Wicca is "Soft-Core Occultism"

Thanks to a reader tip-off, I got to read a doozy of an article from a Christian newspaper in Philadelphia. This one has it all folks. Satanism, abortion, how abortion is Satanic worship, Harry Potter, Twilight, exorcisms, and how “soft-core” occultism leads to the “hard-core” Satanic stuff.

“I predict that in the next 10 years or so, we’ll see an explosion of occult activity,” said Fr. Euteneuer. “The number of soft-core occultism in the form of things like Harry Potter, Wicca and the New Age is on the increase. These are the gateways to the hardcore stuff. Ask any inner-city police department if they’re seeing evidence of Satanism. They’re organizing whole task forces to deal with crimes having to do with these things. As society becomes more faithless, this wickedness comes and fills the vacuum.”

Quick! Find an “inner-city” police department and ask if they have an occult crimes task force (just like in the comic books)! Do they know about the slippery-slope from Harry Potter/Twilight to Wicca to Satanic abortions? Is “soft-core” occultism when they only do the Great Rite symbolically, or is it “in true” but with flattering camera angles and gauzy filters? These are serious questions that need answers! I’m so glad Catholics finished removing all the planks from their own eyes, so they could spend time telling lies demonizing helping those lost in soft-core occultism with finding the specks in theirs.

28 responses so far

  • http://taijiya.wordpress.com taijiya

    This is the best comment to anything, ever. ::adores::

  • peg

    arrgh now I see a couple of typos in my missive, darn it! Impatience goes hand in hand with white-knuckle anger. Oh and BTW my niece got a pink sparkly Ouija Board for Xmas!

  • peg

    agreed; lovely!

  • http://www.loverofstrife.com Evn

    Aw, thanks guys. I try. :)

  • http://www.loverofstrife.com Evn

    LOL I'm feeling so appreciated right now. FYI, I'm funny over here, too.

  • Kay

    Very funny. lol

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Anael Anael

    Yes this is hilarious.

  • Yewtree

    ZOMG! I've been practising Wicca for 18 years now… do you think I am turning to the dark side????

  • G. Williams

    Hmm. My city's police department is too busy dealing with the gangsta wannabes.

  • PJ Graham

    Yes, and the article says this guy is an exorcist, and we know how that sometimes goes.

  • peg

    hey why not Harry Potter Ouija Boards? Doubly evil!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Beansidhe Beansidhe

    Wouldn't want to mention any names about a certain Emily Rose or anything…

  • Advent

    Good for you Evyn!! But satanic crack is still mild. Just drink the kool-aid for a REAL RUSH!!!!!!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Beansidhe Beansidhe

    ooh I want one! :) Maybe we should write JKR and see if she would go for it!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Beansidhe Beansidhe

    lol

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Beansidhe Beansidhe

    omg that is one of the funniest things I read yet!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Beansidhe Beansidhe

    thanks for the link scribing now!

  • Evn

    Excellent! I hope you enjoy it.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Beansidhe Beansidhe

    Its called Republican

  • Gene

    Sign me up as an "Agora Sponsor". Heh!

  • The Gnome

    I have been Wicca for over 20 years now and my lightsaber just turned red. :)

  • Lori

    They should be grateful for those of us who are not "their kind". Without us, and our wicked ways, whatever would they do?

  • Yewtee

    Ah, padawan, turning to the dark side you are. Reconsider this you must.

  • Lori

    Twilight was written by a MormonHousewife? Good Grief! She must Have been tripping. Wonder which number wife she was?

  • Snoozepossum

    Come to the Dark side – we have better chocolate!
    (runs off making loud TIE fighter noises)

  • Snoozepossum

    (wipes tea off monitor) You are SO f^%$#@ ROCK!*

    (bows with forehead to floor)
    *thank you, Tim Minchin

  • Anael

    No really though, if the rise of paganism as a mainstream faith were to happen would people be happy or sad?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Pax Pax

    Wow nothing like a little anti-Christian, "oh bonus they're Mormons!", bigotry to make things spicier!