Yesterday Ling and I attended the 1st birthday party for the son of 2 former students, Jas and Jon.They were married 8 years ago and Ling, Kai and Ren were their flower girls and ring bearer.It was fun to have Ling tower over this mostly Asian-American, mostly parents-of-young-children crew of partiers and remind them that she was waist high at the wedding.
I introduced myself to a young father.Shaking his hand, I said, “Hi!I’m Kathy.”
He said, “Hi!Are you Jas’s mother?”
Whew. . .
Now I don’t know Jas’s exact age but she got her Ph.D. from Harvard in 2004 so I’d guess early-mid 30s.
Her mother???Really??? I haven’t hit menopause yet but I’ve skipped over to the grandmother look?
His comment ranks down there with the 2 times male Harvard Ph.D. students patted the tummy that had just held Kai 6 months earlier and said, “Expecting again?”
Because of their comments, I NEVER ask any woman if she’s pregnant—even very thin acquaintances who turn out to be 8.5 months pregnant.Until someone confesses her joyful news, I don’t ask—I just ignore that protruding abdomen and look elsewhere.
Jas’s mother was at the picnic, as was Jon’s.Both were nice looking Chinese women who (IMHO) looked at least 15-20 years older than me.