Asian Aging. . . Again

(3 days after posting the greatest cartoon on Asian aging, I unfortunately must report on the next step in my saga)
Yesterday Ling and I attended the 1st birthday party for the son of 2 former students, Jas and Jon.  They were married 8 years ago and Ling, Kai and Ren were their flower girls and ring bearer.  It was fun to have Ling tower over this mostly Asian-American, mostly parents-of-young-children crew of partiers and remind them that she was waist high at the wedding.
I introduced myself to a young father.  Shaking his hand, I said, “Hi!  I’m Kathy.”
He said, “Hi!  Are you Jas’s mother?”
Whew. . .
Now I don’t know Jas’s exact age but she got her Ph.D. from Harvard in 2004 so I’d guess early-mid 30s. 
Her mother???  Really???  I haven’t hit menopause yet but I’ve skipped over to the grandmother look?
His comment ranks down there with the 2 times male Harvard Ph.D. students patted the tummy that had just held Kai 6 months earlier and said, “Expecting again?” 
Because of their comments, I NEVER ask any woman if she’s pregnant—even very thin acquaintances who turn out to be 8.5 months pregnant.  Until someone confesses her joyful news, I don’t ask—I just ignore that protruding abdomen and look elsewhere.
Jas’s mother was at the picnic, as was Jon’s.  Both were nice looking Chinese women who (IMHO) looked at least 15-20 years older than me.
Ling said,  “This is all because you don’t dye your hair.”  (See blog on the subject)
Which may be true because both Jas and Jon’s mothers do, so I have far more grays than them.  Maybe that’s why they weren’t recognized as the grandmothers but I was.   
The guy came up to me later, his baby in arms, apologized, and said, “It’s all because of sleep deprivation.”
Sleep deprivation?  Yeah right.  

Chimpanzee face, here I come.

About Kathy Tuan-MacLean

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