When I first started my 30 days of straight of hot yoga it was done with purpose, the purpose was to stay open to vulnerability as a person, and most importantly for my daughter When the idea of 90 straight days came up, it was to help build the habit of vulnerability, and felt natural, even though when I mentioned it to people their mouths dropped, “90 days!” After the 90 days I continued to go to class. But what I noticed within myself, is as I got closer to 100 straight days it was no longer becoming healthy in my ego. The balance that I had was becoming attached to the days and it was no longer becoming the practice it had become over 90 days.
In our yoga practice we are called to listen to our breath, the sensations, the thoughts, and notice them, that includes on the mat and off. The practice is only effective when we use it on and off the mat, otherwise it is called a workout. Yoga is not a workout, even though you are getting a healthy workout, it is a practice. Practicing self control over your mind and body and connecting deeply to your divine self. So as you rest in Shavasana you are connected to the divine and able to recognize her in you and me with a quiet mind and body. We are not just bodies, if we were, we would be a shallow society. Yoga is deeper than your body, your mind, your stories, your life, it is the recognition of who you really are.
In noticing my mind before practice this week, my language with others was about how many days straight I had done, and my body was fatigued. It was becoming work, not practice. I also noticed a sense of unnatural competition. I would mention how many days, then someone would mention that “so and so” did one hundred and something days. So it felt that no matter what I did, someone had done more. I had to really sit with where I was coming from in my practice. Do I want to be happy or not? Where am I attached now? What will happen if I stop and take a break? The answers to these questions gave way to something simple, “take a couple days away.” I could feel the ego not “thinking” pleased about this decision. I use thinking here, because the ego is a constant thinker, it doesn’t feel. Your spirit feels and as you connect to her, she will guide you gently and effortlessly in your day. As I felt into the decision I was making, I felt a great sense of relief, like a burden had been lifted.
I have enjoyed practicing for 100 straight days, and have enjoyed blogging on them as well. It has been a huge blessing in my life to practice with such great teachers, and students. But my identity is not the days I have done, my identity is not in anything other than my spirit.
Today I rest, relax, coach soccer, and breath right here. God bless each of you and join me tonight on the radio as I am a guest on THE PSYCHIC VISION show at 5 pm PST talking about this wonderful journey of yoga. THE PSYCHIC VISION SHOW