Day 84 of 90 straight days of hot yoga at MODO YOGA and I awoke at 4 am and made some coffee, poured my coffee, grabbed my mat and walked my half mile to the studio to practice. I had a wonderful time talking with teacher Joe and others before practice, then I went in the studio, closed my eyes, and teacher Joe invited us to feel the softness of the breath in child’s pose with our eyes closed. I did and could feel the soft breath moving in my body temple. So he asked us to stand up as we started, and I closed my eyes for the entire practice. Truly humbling, truly humbling to close the eyes. It forces you to listen and trust your teacher more than ever.
I noticed with my eyes closed that my standing series was a lot more wobbly,and I also didn’t care, because who am I wanting to impress, but I also noticed that with my eyes closed, how the breath is neutral. No good or bad. No judgement. The breath experiences everything and doesn’t have time to hold on to anything. With my eyes closed, I had to be present. With my eyes closed there is no more thoughts about how you look, or approval, because you can’t see any comparisons outside of you. In fact, at one point I didn’t even know I had a body. I just felt energy, and poses became like moving energy. Not like when the eyes are open and it looks like I am moving this body. Also with my eyes open my focus goes to looking at my balance, but with my eyes closed I must feel the balance.
By closing my eyes today I realized why playing it safe, controlling, being neat and tidy with others is important; because we are scared of feeling. If I play life safe, then I don’t want to feel hurt, happy, alive, or what ever moves through me. Our senses are part of the thinking mind and related to the brain itself. But remove those senses, and you are left to feel and trust. Today with the eyes closed I was in the dark, trusting teacher’s Joes voice. And that really enlivened my practice.
I look out in nature and when I do I see everything growing at it’s own time, and when I close my eyes and practice I can understand why. Life is really meant to be a moment by moment experience. The world has another view, which is fine, it is just not one I share anymore. We are all connected. Today I could feel the breath of the entire room breathing. That is powerful.
Day 85 here I come…Namaste