I remember when it felt like a thousand pieces of my heart lay shattered among the memories of the broken.
It was then I started to pick up the mess.
Then I just stopped, I felt tired of picking up the pieces and trying to reorganize the mess.
So I laid down among the thousand pieces of my heart, realizing that this was where I must start.
The cuts were deep, the wounds many, and the heart felt raw, it felt fragile. So I went in to meet the pieces.
It was then I chose to accept each piece as it was, each piece of my heart had different accounts, different memories, each brought many feelings, some laughter, some tears that flowed like the river. I didn’t know one could have so many tears.
As I accepted where I had been, I noticed a particular thing happening,
this heart which I thought was fragile, it was strong, fierce, kind, vulnerable, and open.
So I rested in the heart, because I realized that if the heart could handle it, then I could handle it. And that I was the heart and it takes courage to live there.
I wish I could tell you that I wish the road was different, but I don’t. Because it led me here…. And here in my heart, is a incredible place to be.
Falling In Love
There is something very scary and exciting about the fall. Scary because you are making the commitment to no longer hide, run, but to stay open, exciting because when you make this decision you have no idea where the adventure will take you.
I feel that “Falling in love” is actually falling into yourself. Going inward. Finally staying still with the noise and haste inside, and witnessing it. Witnessing the hate you actually had for yourself, the war of conflicting ideas, the shame, guilt, and as you witness this inside, the noise which you spent your whole life reacting too, identifying with, begins to subside and compassion comes in.
Compassion is with passion. It is here that you begin to show up…here with passion for life, because life is love and love is passionate about here.
Passionate to meet itself everywhere. The opportunity is always here to take the fall inward, trust me, love will catch you.
The fall into love ends in equanimity for all.
I have made many mistakes, fallen, and also, have had many successes. Through each of these events that have unfolded, they have brought me closer to my feelings, and my heart. As I have rested here in my feelings, I have trusted the information they have given to me. If the feelings are low, it is informing of me something, if the feelings are high, it is informing of me something.
The other day I felt kindness in my heart with something that had happened. And I felt a feeling in my heart that only can be described as a kiss. The way the first kiss feels. It felt like my heart was kissing. And in turn, when kindness was given to me, my heart felt like it was getting kissed.
Kindness is natural for the heart… feel it today for yourself. Judgement, gossip, and hate feel so tight in the heart, but the moment kindness comes… it comes from the heart. It is pure, comfortable, comforting, and your heart says to another heart, “I see you and feel you”.
So over the holidays, let us give from kindness, not because we should, but because we can, and when we do, lets give from the that kiss in our heart of kindness. And if you happen to be a person that judges things like this, I invite you to feel what that feels like in your own heart. Then choose. Bring the kiss of kindness to your holiday season.