Rapture masturbation

I will hopefully get a wrap-up post of Rapture Day in Kansas up tomorrow.  For the time being though, Harold Camping has set the rationalization train in motion.

Saturday was “an invisible judgment day” in which a spiritual judgment took place, he said. But the timing and the structure is the same as it has always been, he said.

There you have it.  The rapture did happen!  Of course, it only happened spiritually.  Amazingly, a spiritual rapture looks precisely like a rapture that didn’t happen.  This means that I’m a total ladies man.  I get laid all the time…y’know…spiritually.  Don’t worry, baby – I have a condom on…spiritually. You bet I’ve been tested for STDs!  …spiritually.

I wonder if that would work with my landlord.  I paid you the rent…spiritually.

It is a little weird though.  So many people who bought into the rapture day (like, all of them) were expecting to be literally lifted into heaven.  Couldn’t Camping have told them ahead of time that wasn’t going to happen?  It makes it look like he’s covering his ass and treating people like little more than gullible, walking wallets.  And to think, we atheists catch grief for not treating believers with enough respect for acting like theists can handle an argument, when their spiritual leaders are treating them like the intellectual equivalent of simian shit.

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About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.