An exercise in excuse-making

While I’m in Tennessee, I’m staying with a lovely couple in Murfreesboro.  Gayle, the beautiful, intelligent half of that pairing is a health nut, personal trainer, and massage therapist.  She will soon begin writing a weekly post for this blog on fitness.

Eliott, the other half, was a basketball player back before the discovery of fire when he was in college.  As it happens, I was a basketball player back when N*Sync was popular in high school.  I was actually quite a good shooter.

Eliott and I have been talking trash over the last few weeks.  A bet was made…and it was a bet I lost.  Eliott defeated me one-on-one by a score of 11-8 and at HORSE by a single letter.  Even a broken clock is right twice a day.  Ironically, a clock that’s broken will be right more often than a clock that’s ten minutes slow.  But I digress…

And so now, per our wager, I am announcing to the world that I was defeated.  Eliott Canter bested me on the hardwood in front of FSM and everybody.  My humiliation was great, but not so great that he’s going to spare me the additional indignity of writing this post.

It was so sneaky though!  I put on my workout clothes (including my workout shoes) first thing in the morning, and before we went to the gym Eliott took me out in the mud to look at the landscape here at their house.  This made my shoes all slippery on the court and allowed him to back my short ass down on the block every position.  I was literally just sliding as he pushed me.  It was a very sinister plot by Eliott.

Also, I jammed my finger.  It hurt.  Big owwie!

And it was his home court!  The dude lives here for crying out loud!  I was battling a hostile crowd (of one person, Casey Houck, the leader of the MTSU group…but he was not very hostile at all).

And I had my talk for that night on my mind.  My focus was all…brokus.

I underestimated him too.  I won’t do that again (rematch today)!

Plus, I blame god.  If Christian athletes can credit god when they win, I can sure as shit blame him when I lose.

*grumble*

/bitter

Good grief, I hope I win tomorrow.  This guy is ruthless.  With friends like Eliott…

/guy love

Eliott and Gayle have been the best hosts.  They have taken great care of me on this tour and I am insanely grateful.  That will not get him any quarter from me on the courts tomorrow!  The guy won fair and square, but tomorrow is my day!  Stay tuned.  FSM-knows what I’ll have to write tomorrow if I lose again…

  • http://atheist-experience.com Matt Dillahunty

    I was fortunate enough to be able to spend some time with them during the American Atheists convention and I couldn’t agree more. Fortunately, I wasn’t challenged to a basketball game, but I’m hoping there’s some poker in my future.

  • http://raisinghellions.wordpress.com/ Lou Doench

    I hope I’m that good looking when I’m all grey haired and stuff…
    Wait a minute…

  • Steph

    I find it hilarious that, before I even started reading that post, I looked at the picture and thought, “Damn, that dude looks uncannily like Sam Elliott, King Of Awesomeness”. To discover that his name is in fact Elliott–well, that’s the cherry on top of the awesomeness cake. ;)

    Now I want to go watch Roadhouse or MASK or something.


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