Obama’s godless Thanksgiving

Steven here…

The President didn’t thank God this Thanksgiving. Err…sorta. According to the Ben Shapiro at Breitbart anyway.

No mention of thanking God. None.
But, of course, we’re used to this. In 2011, there was no mention of God at all. In 2010, Obama was closer, but still missed the mark (“we’ll spend some time taking stock of what we’re thankful for: the God-given bounty of America, and the blessings of one another”). In 2009, Obama didn’t thank God, either.

Not that he should have, but for the record Obama did actually thank God in his Thanksgiving proclamation.

…this day is a time to take stock of the fortune we have known and the kindnesses we have shared, grateful for the God-given bounty that enriches our lives…

…Let us spend this day by lifting up those we love, mindful of the grace bestowed upon us by God and by all who have made our lives richer with their presence….

Shapiro acknowledges that Obama thanked God in the proclamation but doesn’t think it counts. Apparently you have to see the exact words “I thank God for this stuff” pass the President’s lips yourself. See, it’s like a magic spell. Instead of clapping as you would to save Tinkerbell, you have to thank Lord Planet-Maker profusely. If you don’t, he’ll disappear–taking America with him.

Despite what you may have heard from conservatives, Obama not verbally thanking God didn’t mean he issued a proclamation that we’re an Atheocracy or that he had Lovecraftian priests summon forth the dark lord, Loth-Nor, to ensure America would be drowned in the blood of the innocents.

But that didn’t stop people from losing their shit over the lack of a gratitude given to a deity-–their deity. Naturally, if he thanked Zeus or Vishnu, they would have also lost their shit.

The implication in these criticisms is that their imaginary friend will rescind whatever blessings he bestows upon the nation if he is not properly appeased. So not just the President would be punished for a failure to thank, but all of us, even the extreme god-botherers.

That sounds like a pretty shitty deity to thank for anything other than minding the “no trespassing” sign.

I write a lot of jokes. Some of them are in this book.
I also host the podcast of the Skepchick events team, Some Assembly Required, and cohost the WWJTD Podcast.
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