Obama’s godless Thanksgiving

Steven here…

The President didn’t thank God this Thanksgiving. Err…sorta. According to the Ben Shapiro at Breitbart anyway.

No mention of thanking God. None.
But, of course, we’re used to this. In 2011, there was no mention of God at all. In 2010, Obama was closer, but still missed the mark (“we’ll spend some time taking stock of what we’re thankful for: the God-given bounty of America, and the blessings of one another”). In 2009, Obama didn’t thank God, either.

Not that he should have, but for the record Obama did actually thank God in his Thanksgiving proclamation.

…this day is a time to take stock of the fortune we have known and the kindnesses we have shared, grateful for the God-given bounty that enriches our lives…

…Let us spend this day by lifting up those we love, mindful of the grace bestowed upon us by God and by all who have made our lives richer with their presence….

Shapiro acknowledges that Obama thanked God in the proclamation but doesn’t think it counts. Apparently you have to see the exact words “I thank God for this stuff” pass the President’s lips yourself. See, it’s like a magic spell. Instead of clapping as you would to save Tinkerbell, you have to thank Lord Planet-Maker profusely. If you don’t, he’ll disappear–taking America with him.

Despite what you may have heard from conservatives, Obama not verbally thanking God didn’t mean he issued a proclamation that we’re an Atheocracy or that he had Lovecraftian priests summon forth the dark lord, Loth-Nor, to ensure America would be drowned in the blood of the innocents.

But that didn’t stop people from losing their shit over the lack of a gratitude given to a deity-–their deity. Naturally, if he thanked Zeus or Vishnu, they would have also lost their shit.

The implication in these criticisms is that their imaginary friend will rescind whatever blessings he bestows upon the nation if he is not properly appeased. So not just the President would be punished for a failure to thank, but all of us, even the extreme god-botherers.

That sounds like a pretty shitty deity to thank for anything other than minding the “no trespassing” sign.

I write a lot of jokes. Some of them are in this book.
I also host the podcast of the Skepchick events team, Some Assembly Required, and cohost the WWJTD Podcast.
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About geekysteven
  • http://www.reddit.com AntiNaziEqualistAnarchist

    Please don’t tell me they’re trying to pull the “YOU DIDN’T THANK GOD HARD ENOUGH” bull.

  • Rolf Boettger

    Why in the world would President Obama thank God. According to God’s supporters, God has caused billions of dollars of damage to property and to the economy in the last few years, punishing this country with droughts, floods, tornadoes, fires and hurricanes for pissing him of one too many times.
    I for one would be grateful if he just stayed the heck away.

  • Kodie

    You know it’s just so hard, life’s rough man. Aren’t these the same people who gripe that kids these days are too soft and don’t know how easy they have it? Aren’t these the same people who will tell you to “get a life” if you’re talking about something they don’t give a shit? You know, if they want to be religious and stuff, that’s one thing and I disagree with a lot of it, but at least come up with a substantial complaint about something that’s… the word I’m trying to think of is “real” but something else. If they want to be wrong about abortion, for example, at least I think they have some kind of intention about an actual thing we disagree about and what should be done. If they want to be wrong about President Obama’s healthcare plan, at least we’re disagreeing about something in the real world that matters. Whether the president thanks god hard enough to their liking is so petty. Seriously, these watchdogs need to take a good look at themselves in the mirror and figure out the meaning of life they’re always trying to tell us they have, and how enriched and purposeful it all is to love and be loved by the Lord Savior Jesus Christ – because this is some lowdown coal-hearted shit. People who have to put on the right amount of holy so others can see it, and who gossip about what everyone else is doing, are the lowest of the low. What was that about the beam in your eye? What was this about religious freedom? Fussy little nosy-bodies like this are just so petty.

  • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/wwjtd/2012/11/obamas-godless-thanksgiving/ SomeGamerKid

    Cheezus Price, what the hell is wrong with these people?

    • Drakk

      Religion

  • Adam

    Go read the comments over at Beitbart if you’re feeling strong. One person mentioned that Bush didn’t thank God, and what’s the response? Reality denial and name calling.

  • RuQu

    I’d like to see a list of some of the most devoutly religious nations in the world.

    For obvious reasons Uganda comes to mind. The vast majority of Ugandans are Christian, and their government is pretty outspoken about it.

    How are they doing these days? Is all that praying and devout Christian-ness making Uganda a New Eden? How many American Christians would agree to move there, even if you offered to pay all of their moving expenses and the first month’s rent?


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