Questions for the GOP

Steven here…

This year we saw the Republican party get stomped. And primarily because they fielded a ton of “social conservative” candidates.

I put “social conservative” in scare quotes by the way because it’s actually a misspelling of the word “wrong.”

Several of these jerks would have won, and done so handily though if they had kept their mouths shut. Particularly about rape. I am very glad they couldn’t resist pontificating though. Social conservatism is a disease and sunlight is the best medicine. When people in conservative states like Missouri and Indiana saw how anti-choice the Republican options were, they made it clear they weren’t gonna be a part of that.

While the pundits are crying out that the GOP needs to be even more conservative, the politicians have seen the writing on the wall and are emphasizing the need to change the party platforms to make it less racist, homophobic and sexist. This is a good thing! I’m just going to go ahead and assume that this sentiment is strong enough within the party and offer a practical solution to keep the GOP on the path to recovery: eliminate social conservative candidacies before the candidate can embarrass your party.

For some reason, this election reminded me of old school Mortal Kombat.

For some reason, this election reminded me of old school Mortal Kombat.

The party and the primary voters have a responsibility, sure, but the press needs to step up its game too. Reporters should always ask about abortion in the case of rape. I think everyone is on board with that now. But why stop there? There are so many other questions that a theocrat wont be able to resist. Such as…

1. What is your position on supreme court decisions such as Griswold v. Connecticut?

2. How do you feel about women’s suffrage?

3. Are inter-racial marriages a good thing?

4. What is your opinion of single mothers?

5. What causes hurricanes?

There are of course more questions we could come up with, but this is a good start. When these candidates are forced to tip their hand, the reasonable people wake up, remember the value of voting and we end up with better representation. So reporters, I hate to tell you how to do your job, but ask those questions from now on. We’ll all be better off.

I write a lot of jokes. Some of them are in this book.
I also host the podcast of the Skepchick events team, Some Assembly Required, and cohost the WWJTD Podcast.
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About geekysteven
  • RuQu

    “How do magnets work?”

    I would be lovely to see the press flood the airwaves with videos like that “lies straight from the pit of hell” anti-science rant. You can’t let that sort of insanity slide in political leaders.

    Enough of this “all opinions are valid” nonsense. If a candidate says irrational, stupid, creationist, rape-apologist, etc things, that should be headline news for a week minimum.

  • Glodson

    What gets me about this is that you would think after Akin opened his mouth, the others in the GOP would see his poll numbers drop, significantly, and would at least learn to shut the hell up about abortion in cases of rape. But no. It is like they couldn’t help themselves, or they forgot that women can vote.

    But I hope these social conservative troglodytes haven’t learned the lesson. I hope they keep talking the same way they did about rape, keep hoping to ban all abortions. I’m sure that will open the floodgates of stupid and finally drown out this current version of “conservatism.” Because I would like to go into a voting booth and have a real choice between the two major parties(I would like to have a real choice between several major parties, but that isn’t happening for awhile). Instead I often have a semi-coherent Democrat, and a bat-shit insane Republican that is attempting to find the most evil positions he can on any given issue.

    That’s not much of a choice.

    • RuQu

      Didn’t you know? Akin’s numbers dropped because his comments weren’t conservative enough!

  • invivoMark

    “I put “social conservative” in scare quotes by the way because it’s actually a misspelling of the word “wrong.””

    Ha. I like it.

    Your image is probably more appropriate than you realize: (Procrastination warning! Level 5 Distraction!)

  • baal

    If reporters made (R) candidates look like the fools their beliefs make them, I expect they’d get fired. Olbermann apparently was hard to work with but his endless and effective attacks got him noticed by upper level folks who told him to quit beating up fox. Glenn Greenwald (who I don’t always agree with but has some sharp observations) noted that the presidential debates entirely skipped drones and spying on americans among other issues. These are two examples (there are more) where ‘the powers that be’ control what the topics of discussion are for everyone else and what gets swept under the rug (made invisible).

  • Randomfactor

    Best summation of the 2012 election: “The culture war is over. Culture won.”