The Legend of Uncle Bobolink, Part II.

THE LEGEND OF UNCLE BOBOLINK PART I

Bobolink has returned, once again morphing his IP address.  Once again, his comments were edited for my (and now your) amusement.

“For Reasonsbane!” shouted Bobolink, charging the castle with a vigor accumulated over years of stewing and grumbling to himself while reading atheist blogs. Sadly, in the dark of night, Bobolink failed to notice that the drawbridge was not extended. Bobolink found himself a slave to gravity as he tumbled into the shallow moat below. Thankfully, the moat around Castle Eberhard was warm and the mud was soft. God was clearly looking out for him.

“Curses!” cried Bobolink. Water was his new armor’s only weakness. Now it clung to his skin like latex shame before dissolving into the abyss. No matter though, thought Bobolink. There would be no need for battle anytime soon.

Then came the most terrifying sound Bobolink had ever heard. He knew it well, the melodious, tantalizing hum – almost seductive with its song-like harmony. Though Bobolink was certain he could overcome any obstacle with god at his back, he had always run at its advance. But slowed by the murky waters, Bobolink would now be forced to fight. There could be no doubt that Eberhard, being without mercy, had stocked his moat with facts.

Bobolink slowly reached for his noble weapon, Faithbrand. To his horror, Bobolink found himself grasping only air. Panic shot through him. It must’ve fallen out of the scabbard during the fall! Bobolink fell immediately to his knees, his hands frantically churning the water and the mud, with the sweet, dulcet tones of the facts growing ever closer…

About JT Eberhard

When not defending the planet from inevitable apocalypse at the rotting hands of the undead, JT is a writer and public speaker about atheism, gay rights, and more. He spent two and a half years with the Secular Student Alliance as their first high school organizer. During that time he built the SSA’s high school program and oversaw the development of groups nationwide. JT is also the co-founder of the popular Skepticon conference and served as the events lead organizer during its first three years.


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