Dear Alex Jones,
I am sorry that nerds have made your life difficult. See, when you care about whether or not something is true, you have to use your brain to look into it. And use your brain to help convey your findings. Given that you specialize in spreading falsehoods, I can see how this would hurt you.
I also want to thank you for letting me know that I’m part of one of the most dangerous groups in America. All this time, I thought that reading, studying and being into role-playing games was harmless–possibly even beneficial. I will stop this immediately.
I actually got along fairly well with the football players in my high school. We had different hobbies and didn’t hang out much, but that wasn’t really a point of contention. This doesn’t negate your experience, so I will let all the nerds know to not pick on you poor football players anymore. In your case that’s particularly egregious(that is a word that means “bad”) because you shouldn’t attack people who are incapable of defending themselves.
-Steven Olsen, nerd
P.S. Go fuck yourself.
I write a lot of jokes. Some of them are in this book.
I also host the podcast of the Skepchick events team, Some Assembly Required, and cohost the WWJTD Podcast.
You can also follow me on Facebook or that bird thing.