Vatican pirating porn?

TorrentFreak reports that when the Vatican pirates movies, they go all out…

But just when the whole exercise was beginning to fall a bit flat, we spotted some downloads to get pulses racing. It seems that while Vatican dwellers aren’t all that interested in Hollywood movies, they do enjoy adult related celluloid.

Lea Lexis and Krissy Lynn?  They are probably Catholic school girls.  Seems pretty innocent.

BDSM Sklavin Züchtigung im dunklen Hobbykeller teen fesselspiele?  I got As in German in college, so I think that means BDSM slave punishment in a dark basement hobbyshop, teen fetish play.  But I’m rusty, so who knows?  Of course, I don’t care if some people in the Vatican are watching that stuff.  Nothing wrong with porn or indulging fantasy.

Of course, when you’re telling the rest of the world how to conduct their sex lives, I can sure as hell jump on you for the hypocrisy.  Frankly, I’m more offended that an organization of scarcely measurable wealth feels the need to pirate their porn.  These assholes are why the industry is dying.

Maybe we should all be happy since Catholic leaders are moving up to teens, and toward fantasy rather than actually raping them.  And Mark Shea thought no longer denying a dixie cup of wine and a piece of stale bread to social progressives represented progress!  This is awesome!  Enjoy your porn you sexually repressed frauds!

  • IslandBrewer

    You’d think they’d have enough money just to pay for their porn, no?

    • Glodson

      Paying for porn would be sinful!

      • pjmaertz

        Yea, breaking one of the ten commandments is bad, but if you break two at once it offsets. That’s why I always follow up a murder with a covetous thought about my neighbor’s wife.

    • sqlrob

      What, you think they got rich by spending their money?

  • baal

    My understanding is that the RCC actually owns one of the main German fetish porn houses. They could be looking for copyright infringement.

  • Loqi

    I am shocked by this. Shocked, I say!

    No, seriously, I am surprised by this. I expected it to be child porn.

  • Art Vandelay

    The RCC is not having a good day on WWJTD.

  • M.

    The Tiffany Starr & Sheena Shaw is a shemale porn, if you’re curious.

    • Kaleigh

      Thanks for taking one for the team bud.

  • Compuholic

    BDSM Sklavin Züchtigung im dunklen Hobbykeller teen fesselspiele? I got As in German in college, so I think that means BDSM slave punishment in a dark basement hobbyshop, teen fetish play.

    You are correct.

  • Andrew Kohler

    Fesselspiele would be games involving chains/bondange/etc, actually, and also can refer to caning (as in S&M-style school discipline), according to one of my favorite online dictionaries. (That looks like a noun, btw, so it is odd that it isn’t capitalized–I suppose teen could be an adjective here). The German for fetish is “der Fetisch,” FYI. And Hobbykeller is, indeed, “hobby cellar.” One should note also that Sklavin is a female slave (just one, apparently, as that is the singular form). I suppose I could ask some other people who are also sitting at 10:30 PM in this German library (for I am, indeed, in a German library at 10:30 PM), but I would feel very rude interrupting their work.

    Woe be to whomever pirated this deutsche Pornografie if GEMA (the copyright infringement people in Germany) read this blog.

    • Andrew Kohler

      Whoops–it’s Züchtigung, the word for punishment, that may connote school canings. Sorry for confusing my German BDSM words!

  • Glodson

    What I learned from JT and the comments tooday: a lot about porn.

    • IslandBrewer

      Not just any porn, German fetish porn.

      • Glodson

        Maybe someone sent this e-card to the RCC.

      • baal

        What? You all don’t already have a collection? Are you sure you’re an atheist?

        • http://gamesgirlsgods.blogspot.com/ M

          I’m a very sheltered and boring atheist, thank you!

          Also a very easily embarrassed one … even just going to Good Vibes makes me feel uneasy for a bit. Not that I let that stop me, though!

  • Michael Busch

    Next logical question:

    How does the amount of torrented material being downloaded inside the Vatican compare to that for an age- and gender-matched cohort of ~840 internet users elsewhere in Rome, elsewhere in Italy, elsewhere in Europe, etc. ?

    • Glodson

      Hmm, interesting question. I know that Utah, here in the States, has some of the highest porn consumption.

      I’ve even heard a few explanations of it outside severe repression. The best is that Utah has a concentration of young people. But it still doesn’t account for the higher rate in total.

      One could say they are “studying” it to figure a way to combat it. Of course, in the Utah example, it was paid subscriptions, not free porn which is more prevalent by far.

      • Michael Busch

        This is torrent-tracking specifically, so it isn’t actually representative of overall consumption of any type of media. But the torrent volume and types could provide insight into who is actually doing the downloading. e.g. if the patterns match a cohort of 100 European men aged 20-40 then we might conclude the members of the Swiss Guards are the primary consumers. If there is an large excess above that, then we could infer a larger number of consumers.

        • Michael Busch

          To clarify: doing forensics on the Vatican’s internet traffic would only be a statistical argument, since doing a full back trace on the IPs and tying them to individual boxes would be an invasion of privacy and also require cooperation from the network admins. I mentioned the Swiss Guards only because their members are much younger than the other residents of the Vatican (although they are not younger than the staff who work there and live in Roma), and people younger than 40 are more likely to be doing a lot of file-sharing than people who are older.

  • Drakk

    I bet they don’t seed after they finish the download either.

    • Anonymous Atheist

      Tangential thought: Torrenting is kinda like a real modern version of the ‘loaves and fishes’ myth. The more people share, the more everyone can have. ;-)

      • Anonymous

        “Lord, Lord! There is not enough German fetish porn to satisfy the multitudes! Shall we send them away? What are we to do?”

        “Have them all open unto them their laptops and mobile devices, and torrent the German fetish porn into them. And yea, there shall be enough for all.

        And let the seeds of their downloads spread forth … NOT THAT SEED! *sputter*”

        • Compuholic

          And a new commandment I give unto you: “Thou shalt not leech”

          • Drakk

            I see immediate potential for a schism over the definition of leeching.

    • Micah Goldstein

      …well that might be empirically denied, if they were up long enough to be noticed like this, they seeded at least a little.

  • baal

    I noticed this post over in the most popular short list and have to add that I’m disappointed they weren’t looking at pirate porn. ARRRRGH Matey!

  • Guest

    With one hand the pope tweeteth, and with the other he fappeth away.


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X