National Day of Prayer vs. National Day of Reason.

Today, as decreed by Congress, is the National Day of Prayer in which all Americans are encouraged to turn to god in prayer and meditation.  Strangely, I recall “masturbation” being spelled differently (and being a lot more fun).

The American Humanist Association has simultaneously declared today to be the National Day of Reason, where Americans are asked to turn to reason…just like they do for all situations in which a positive outcome really matters.  So which one should we celebrate?  Well, let’s look at which one does more for us.  If we pray for enough food to feed the world, that doesn’t seem to work.  When we apply our reason to finding new ways to produce more food, that does seem to work.  So…reason answered that prayer, not god.

When we get sick and pray rather than go to the doctor, we die of treatable conditions.  However, going to the doctor works regardless of one’s religious beliefs.  So, once again, the product of reason (in this case, medicine) makes us better.

Oh, what’s that you say Mr./Mrs. Prayer Apologist?  You pray AND go to the doctor?  I see.  So you combine what doesn’t work on its own with what does work on its own and now you claim they share the credit?  Do you also think singing in the shower contributes to making you clean?  This line of desperate bullshit makes you look like an idiot twice: once for trusting prayer to accomplish anything, and again for trying to leech the credit away from a human-conceived innovation like medicine for prayer.

Come to think of it, if prayer worked, we never would’ve invented anything.  Like I always say, every human innovation is a testament to the uselessness of prayer.

If you really want to place your gratitude for cell phones, airplanes, good health, clean water, medicine, indoor plumbing, the ability to remove stupid ass parts of your body that god put there (appendix, wisdom teeth, etc.), anesthetic, air conditioning (why did god not make it 72 degrees all the damn time?), and more, you should dump the entirety of your gratitude upon the one force that stepped in when prayer didn’t do shit.  Hell, just try praying your front door open and see how long it takes you to give up and admit that a modicum of reason is far more powerful than a billion voices in fervent prayer by reasoning how to open it.

Be thankful to reason, and realize that any sane person only has prayers answered by reason or actually getting up off their ass and doing shit, even though they’ll swear up and down that it was god.

Like my dad says: “If faith were based on evidence and reason it would be called “knowledge”.  It isn’t because…it isn’t.”

  • Kengi

    Have you no respect?

    I’m sorry, but you go too far by comparing prayer to masturbation. Masturbation is much more useful.

    • Glodson

      And at least you will have something to show for your efforts at masturbation.

      • busterggi

        Disproportionate muscle developement?

        • Glodson

          No comment.

        • baal

          Dumbbell hammer curls were created for a reason.

  • Glodson

    Isn’t admitting you talk to an imaginary friend normally frowned upon?

  • busterggi

    If I found a reasonable god to believe in then maybe I would pray but so far no luck.

  • Loqi

    Why can we upvote comments but not the posts? There are like 50 quotes in here that I’m going to steal.

  • http://www.facebook.com/carolyn.mann3 Carolyn Mann

    This makes so much sense. Thanks for putting it so well.


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