Well, the votes are in for mayor of Miami.

Anna L. Pierre, who said that Jesus had endorsed her to run for mayor of Miami, came away with 56% of the vote.

Wait…not 56% of the vote…she just got 56 votes.  Total.

Of course, you won’t hear her say “Gosh, I guess I read too much into naturally occurring phenomenon and wrongly interpreted it as signs from god which, in retrospect, is kind of silly since god could come down directly and tell me what he wanted.  Why would god need to use such unclear methods of communication that are so prone to enabling people to think whatever idea they already have is vetted by the almighty?  Why would a god who really wants to be understood even want to use those methods?  Boy, was I ever wrong.”

Nope.  Her crushing defeat won’t convince her that god didn’t place great import on actually choosing oh-so-special her to be the mayor of a tiny fraction of humans on a spec of dust in an incomprehensibly vast universe.  Her getting obliterated at the polls was all part of his plan, the nature of which Pierre doesn’t know, but she knows the plan is good…somehow.

  • Glodson

    Jesus was pitching a new show for MTV where he plays practical jokes. He tried it last year in the primaries. But this is for the pilot.

    This fall, prepare to be Jesus’d on MTV!

  • Loqi

    I wonder if she’ll amp up the crazy like so many others do. Perhaps do some numerology and explain to us that 56 is an important number in the bible. It’s used to represent the real victor in mayoral elections in a city that didn’t exist yet.

  • Pulse

    But Jesus really does endorse her campaign and wants her to be mayor . . . next term.

  • Aliasalpha

    Jesus voted 56 times! What more does he have to do??


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