Last non-atheism post before I start plodding through the news. I have a slew of new zombie survival articles over at ShitZombiesSay.net.
The even bigger concern is what to do once you’ve gotten out of the building. What are your goals? Where do you need to go? Are you separated from people you need to be with? The outside will be full of panicked people and possibly the undead. Your job is to be neither of those things. In order to succeed, you need to have done a lot of the work ahead of time.
- Have a place to meet with friends and family arranged ahead of time. In an emergency the phone lines will be clogged, so don’t wait until the dead rise to decide on this location.
- Never let your car’s tank fall below half. If you’re in the middle of a city, don’t even try to get out using a vehicle. You’ll wind up in a traffic jam that will make you a sitting duck. But if you live on the outskirts of a town facing an isolated incident and if your reaction time is fast enough, you may be able to put the town to your tail and not look back: providing you have enough gas to get you away.
- Have a battery-powered radio handy at all times. Listen in for emergency instructions and updates. Knowledge is worth more than anything to you.
- Leave a note if you suspect people will come looking for you. Leave it on your desk or someplace people know you would have been. If you must pin it to the door and hope for the best, be somewhat cryptic. You want your friend to find you, but you don’t want to let a freaked out survivor who may want to take your supplies find you a few days later.
- Check your dress. Comfort may be fashion, but comfort is also often achieved by wearing looser clothing. Loose clothing provides something for the undead (or panicked living) to grab a hold of. Keep your hair cut short or tucked tight so it’s not dangling and wear skin-hugging clothes. For many Americans this will make us self-conscious. However, self-conscious is a load better than dead. Wear such clothing under your other clothes if you must, but don’t plan on having enough time to do a full clothing change when the alarm bells first ring.
And also, Texas Instruments is using zombies to teach kids about science, technology, engineering, and math:
Let’s face it, not every young person believes that zombies are a possibility, let alone a near certainty that will one day dominate the lives of whichever members of the next generation are lucky enough to survive. This program is clever in that it prepares those children for the future with so much stealth that they’re never the wiser. They think they’re only learning about science, technology, engineering, and math.
“The neural anatomy that we go into is really the jumping off point in this particular activity, and the actual activity is about what would happen if a virus that was turning people into zombies were to spread,” Bialik told WIRED. “This presents the opportunity for modeling, for teaching about graphing, for teaching about disease progression, for teaching about the problem-solving that would be involved if you were to, for example, work for the Centers for Disease Control and had to analyze this.”
Wait. What? Zombies? Yes. It turns out certain zombie behavior can be used to show the effects of damaging certain areas of the brain. Let’s say, for example, you want kids to learn about the group of nuclei at the base of the forebrain known as the basal ganglia. Show them Night of the Living Dead and explain that the loss of coordination the undead display in Romero’s masterpiece can be caused by damage to that region. To teach students about the regions of the brain that handle problem solving and impulse control, tell them zombies have highly compromised frontal lobes. Want to explain the cerebellum? Tell students — or, using the TI software, show them — that we know zombies must have damage to that area because they can’t walk well.
If you’re wondering, it’s over-stimulation of the hypothalamus that makes the undead so hungry for flesh.
Enjoy! Be back in a bit with atheist shtuffs.