Anorexia journal: off to my third therapy appointment.

I last weighed myself on Monday and weighed 193.6.  Today I weighed 192.2, which marks the second consecutive three-day period where I’ve lost 1.4 lbs.  It’s too much, but I’m eating all I can. I still can’t tell I’ve lost weight by looking in the mirror, despite having lost almost 16 lbs in the last [Read More...]

Dusty and Suicide

Discussing depression and suicide isn’t really my thing, despite suffering through it myself (though for different reasons). I’m not sure I’d say I’m a fan of this “Cult of Dusty” character. I think he has his moments, even if I disagree with him on some points. One of his recent videos popped up on my [Read More...]

Anorexia journal: today’s update.

Last night I went to bed having eaten 700 calories on the day, but got up after a bit and forced down a spoonful of peanut butter and a scrambled egg to get me up close to 1,000 calories on the day.  Today I’ve had 250 calories and can’t see myself eating more for a [Read More...]

Living with an anorexia relapse: the sandwich.

Three days ago Michaelyn and I had a talk in which she told me she felt that weighing myself every day was not a good thing.  I agreed, but wasn’t ready to give up weighing myself entirely.  We agreed on three day intervals.  Three days ago I was 196.4 under ideal conditions.  Today I was [Read More...]

Off to appointment #2.

Yesterday was not a good day.  Today’s not a good day either.  I’ve eaten 96 calories because I had told myself I’d eat before my appointment, but that was all I could manage: 16 almonds at 6 calories each.  I counted the calories on each on as I swallowed.  My stomach still feels empty, my [Read More...]

I weighed myself again.

When I got married I weighed 210 lbs. A little over four weeks ago I weighed 208.6. Today I weighed 196.4. How can I not be happy about that? I can do pull-ups again. That’s where it starts. Then you try to eat less, so stepping onto the scale next time will feel even better. [Read More...]

My inert brain.

It was actually a busy day in the news.  I have lots more to write about, but I think it will have to wait until tomorrow. I weighed myself a bit ago.  It was the first time in four or five days, I think.  I weighed 208 late last month and today I’m at 198.2.  I [Read More...]

Intake paperwork is fun.

I love my new therapist (who picked my file out of the intake folder because she thought it looked interesting).  For the sake of anonymity when I write about my therapy sessions, let’s call her Katy Perry.  Katy is extremely analytical, direct and to-the-point (but still with a sense of humor), big on evidence-based therapy, [Read More...]

The Thinking Atheist: Mental Health Episode.

Man, what a great show.  I tried not to say much because Jeremiah Beene, Michaelyn, and Darrel Ray had so much good stuff to say.  Seth Andrews is just great for putting this episode together.  I hope everybody can learn something. Listen To Education Internet Radio Stations with TheThinkingAtheist on BlogTalkRadio Hear more of Jeremiah [Read More...]

One hour until my first appointment…

I’m more calm than I had reckoned I would be.  That is very unlike my first trip to the doctor when I was pretty much in hysterics… Will the meds he gives me cause me to start eating again?  Will I gain even more weight?  I can’t let that happen.  Will all my friends drift [Read More...]