Because the Disciples Were Just Like You (Friday Funnies)

Let me start this post with a hat-tip to Brandon Vogt, convert and Catholic blogger over at The Thin Veil. You may recall that Brandon hosted one of our book club meetings once.

He posted a link on his Facebook page today to a blog of a fellow named Don Miller who, you guessed it, I had never heard of before today. This is reason #1367 for why I didn’t give up Facebook for Lent.

Is Don Miller a Catholic? I don’t think so, but as I’ve explained here before I don’t hold that against anybody, especially when they are as funny as what I will be sharing with you here. See, he put together a wee list of traits of true disciplines of Christ. Guess what? You’ll make the cut. Take a look,

Here are some actual characteristics of the disciples I think we can safely trust. If you resonate with any of these, you’re in a good spot and likely following Jesus:

1. You think Jesus wants to take over the government so you cut off a soldiers ear in order to get the fighting started. (The neo cons are definitely disciples!)

2. You keep pestering Jesus about who he will give more power to in heaven.

3. You have no theological training but own a small fishing business which somehow makes you qualified because you “get it.”

4. The Holy Spirit crashes into one of your mini sermons so everybody can speak different languages and outsiders think you’re drunk.

5. People ask you if you know Jesus and you freak out and say no and run away.

6. You hear they killed Jesus on a cross and you figure the whole thing was a wash and you got duped.

7. You choose other disciples by playing rock, paper scissors.

8. You teach bad theology and have to have somebody else come over and correct you.

See? You’ll do just fine too. Trivia Question Bonus Round: Can you identify which disciples met these particular characteristics? Put them in the combox below by number. The answers may surprise you. Then head on over and read the whole post at Don’s blog.

Update: The Horror!

  • cathyf

    I think #3 and #7 are my favorites!I'd like to suggest #9 –9. You get the vapours because Jesus hangs out with sinners, and even has dinner with them before they’ve repented!Anyone for #10?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01819831282677092730 Frank

    #7 is a good one, I agree. They drew lots to choose Matthias as the replacement of Judas Iscariot. Rock, paper, scissors would have worked just as well. ;)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13078997308616905319 Sue

    You might enjoy reading his books – Blue Like Jazz (which has absolutely nothing to do with jazz, just sayin', still a great book) and his most recent, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15724518800430532026 Sandy C.

    I read "Blue Like Jazz" by Don Miller about eight years ago, before I started my journey to Rome. I remember liking it a lot, but can't remember anything specific about it now.


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