Ladies? The Almighty Orgasm Needs Your Help Getting Folks the Right Kind of Pornography…UPDATED

Pompatous of “O”

Satire Alert!

I know, I know, it sounds crazy, but the Almighty Orgasm is trying to grow the ranks of the faithful, you see. Because there isn’t enough easily accessible pornography in the world, wouldn’t you agree?

So “the Big O” has hired someone to enlist you in providing videos of yourself and your significant other (or others) engaging in intercourse, you know, for all the world to see. She’ll even pay you for this, as her sponsored by the McCallan interview makes clear below.

Meet Cindy Gallop,

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Need more reasons to learn from the Pompatous how you can be a pioneer for the Pleasure?

Few startups are more brazen, and few entrepreneurs are more irreverent than Cindy Gallop, perhaps most known for her brief yet epic 2009 TED talk.

Gallop, a former BBH branding exec who dates men in their 20s found that too many of these paramours wanted to do with her the things they saw in porn. But porn sex is not real world sex, and studies show the average person first encounters porn when they’re an impressionable 8 years old (not a typo). By the time these individuals reach adulthood, there’s a deep-seated misconception that porn is, indeed, the way sex is done.

So Gallop partnered with Oonie Chase to redefine porn and promote “real world sex” with Make Love Not Porn. They set up a web platform whereby real-world couples (and trios, quartets, etc., if you’re into that sort of thing) can submit authentic videos of them having sex. Videos are curated by the MLNP team (ed. upload fee, a paltry $5.00) and put on the site, where fellow real-world people can pay $5 to rent a video (ed. hopefully yours); the business and its stars (ed. your dream chance awaits) then split the revenue. Gallop says in the first few months, some users were already pulling in 4-digit revenues.

More details over at the Almighty Orgasm approved New Media master website, Mashable. Google it.

Oh My Orgasm! You can seek the Center of Our Pleasure, make a video of your trek toward the wonderfulness of the Summit, thus spreading the faith, educate the masses on what beautiful sex really looks like, get paid…it’s a winning combination for all mankind. OMO!

Our Savior the Orgasm is smiling at the prospects, and looking forward to your participation. Don’t you just feel warm and tingly about the prospects yourself? Porn harms? On the contrary! Join Cindy on the mission. Be Pro-Sex. Pro-Porn, and Pro-Knowing the Difference.

Open the gates, for the road is wild…

UPDATE:

LifeSiteNews: I thought porn was perfectly ok…and then I saw some.

  • Maggie Goff

    Oh good grief. She has the most annoying voice and I couldn’t understand everything she was saying. It is true that teenage boys think that the porn that they see on the net is how sex is supposed to be. I am close to someone who actually got sick when she saw what her son had been watching. It’s an epidemic. Also read Mary Eberstadt’s “Adam and Eve After the Pill.” We are in trouble.

    • Frank Weathers

      The Almighty “O” started lossing patience when she started talking entrepreneurship. But so it goes.

  • Patty

    She’s nothing new. I’ve heard this before. Glad she thinks she’s a lark to society. The world needs her energy and her spunk..or at least some do. I’m so glad I’m me. lol.

  • Nic

    This post severely depresses me. Why advocate this? There is a need for better education on this subject, but not like this.

  • M. Melvin

    Frank, are you actually promoting this website?

    • Frank Weathers

      Click on the live links, and you tell me.

  • Melia

    Yes, let us fight the fantasisation and commodification of sex by fantasising and commidifying sex!

    • Frank Weathers

      Melia “knows the difference.” *cough*

  • michaelp71

    Porn is porn regardless of a director, script, one, two or MULTIPLE participants. This frightens me because I used to convince myself that since it wasn’t violent or whatever the porn wasn’t so bad. I am truly afraid for guys and some gals who might get caught up in this. I am tempted just hearing about it.

  • http://digihairshirt.blogspot.com/ Stephanie Richer

    Calm. Frank’s post is satire. Sadly, hers is not. Although I suspect some of the DIY home porn that results will have all the sex appeal of “Debbie Does Dallas” meets “Benny Hill” (“Yakety Sax” always gets me in the mood . . .).

  • Marye

    Sad how she works in the fact that she “dates” men in their twenties into her sales pitch. What she means is that she’s having sex with men in their twenties– which is not that difficult for mildly attractive middle-aged women to do.

  • http://allpartoflifesrichpageant.blogspot.com James

    …and Catholics wonder why people think the Church is anti-sex. From articles like this, you’d think the Catholic Church was anti-orgasm.

    Porn has so warped young people’s idea of what sex is that they have to “re-learn” how to make love. Cindy Gallop is absolutely right that people need to know what real sex is, even if her methods are questionable.

    Put another way, what good does it do if someone stops watching porn, but expects their spouse to act out pornographic fantasies in the bedroom?

    • Frank Weathers

      “The orgasm has replaced the Cross as the focus of longing and the image of fulfillment.”
      ― Malcolm Muggeridge

  • http://www.bedlamorparnassus.blogspot.com Magister Christianus

    This is absurd beyond comment. Interestingly, it connects with my most recent post, From Bobby Socks to Thongs. More importantly, though, thank you for giving us the link to the Porn Harms website. I checked that out, and it is full of great resources and opportunities to get involved in the fight against this. That site probably needs its own permanent link. Great piece!

  • Marye

    I’m going to say something that sounds jaded and cynical, but perhaps Ms. Gallop’s comments about the effect of porn-watching on younger men should be taken in the context of her relationship to them–rather than taking what she says at face value. These twenty-somethings may be getting involved with her *because,* as an older woman, they anticipate that she will be sexually experienced and adventurous, similar to what they see in the porn videos. They may not have the same expectations of women their own age. In other words, perhaps she’s aiming to “solve” a problem that only exists in a limited sphere.


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