Because I Love Bacon…

Sure, I eat it sparingly, but I do enjoy the sounds, smells, and tastes of sizzling bacon. And if you love bacon, and aren’t a naturally annoying person, Christianity is the religion for you!

But don’t be a “boring, generic, Christian.” Life is too short for that. [Read more…]

The Real Reason the Conclave is On March 12th, and not March 11th…UPDATED

What? You thought you could just bring in some folding chairs and tables into the Sistine Chapel, as if it’s just your average parish hall, or something? Please.

CNS PHOTO/L’OSSERVATORE ROMANO

We’re putting a floor in here, people! [Read more…]

Beware People Bearing Cameras and Microphones Asking Your Opinion About “Our New Pope”


You know, when there isn’t one. You may become a pawn of Jimmy Kimmel Live, like these eager folks. [Read more…]

Anyone Care for a Game of “Secular Media Conclave Bingo?”

I hope the pot is well financed, because there will be a ton of winners.

Check out their other card too.

The Media Conclave has been in session since February 16th. It’s amazing they haven’t chosen a Pope for us yet.

H/T The Crescat.

Voting Has Opened in the 2013 About Catholicism Readers’ Choice Awards

And you can even vote for me, kind of. This just in… [Read more…]

A Papal Candidate That Hails from the Dagobah System?

I knew Yoda was a Catholic! He finally got out of that Manichaean slump that was keeping him down. :)

H/T Tony Rossi and Fr. Michael Duffy.

A Surefire, Scientific, Indicator on Who Our Next Pope Will Be. UPDATED

Choosing future popes prior to them being voted into office by the Papal Conclave is a great pastime, even if the odds of guessing correctly are long.

When Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger was elected by the conclave to assume command of the Barque of Saint Peter after the passing on to eternity of Blessed Pope John Paul II, nobody expected him to be named the Pope. [Read more…]

What To Get That Special Man In Your Life For Valentines Day? I Can Guarantee He’ll Never Forget This…

As Pat Gohn shames us men into drafting epic love letters for our sweeties this year, will us men be rewarded in kind?

Here’s an idea, ladies. We’re pretty easy to please. [Read more…]

PETA Outraged at Beyoncé’s Super Bowl Attire

Just when you thought you were safe from hearing anymore about the Super Bowl Halftime Show starring Beyoncé, it turns out you aren’t. [Read more…]

A Message From Your Captain. This Is Only A Test…Do Not Be Alarmed!

I might use this at some point in the future, so please make yourselves familiar with it. Upon hearing this klaxon, all  Red Shirts report to the Transporter Room, and await further instructions. Sound General Quarters! [Read more…]