Coffee With A Closeted Witch
July 18, 2010 by Cara Schulz
Did you know that witches hang out at the CNN Center Food court? Well, they do. Or at least one of them does. You wouldn’t be able to pick her out in a crowd of business-dress professionals, which was what I was trying to do now.
A few weeks before my trip, we had set up a time and place to meet for a cup of coffee or tea that would be quick and convenient for both of us. She was dying to get caught up on all the Pagan community news and I was happy just to talk to her again. Other than that quick email, which should appear to anyone else as a business email, we hadn’t spoken in months.
Katie had just gone through a nasty divorce. Is there any other kind? I’m not sure, but what made this one so heartbreaking was that Katie decided to give up all outward signs she was practicing her religion out of fear she would lose custody of her daughter. During the legal battle she felt the judge was looking at her religion unfavorably and she wasn’t willing to take the risk.
Katie and her ex had met at an Open Circle, which is a religious service that anyone can join in as long as they are polite and respectful. Katie had already belonged to a coven for 3 years, but Jim had just begun his spiritual journey. After they dated for a few years, they decided to jump the broom and get married. Jim never did join a coven, but he continued to go to Open Circles and holiday events for almost the entire 4 years of their marriage.
About 2 years ago, after the birth of their daughter, Jim started attending a Baptist church. At first Katie encouraged him to go since she could see that Jim was still searching for his own spiritual path. Six months later the fights started. He called her religion demonic and said he wouldn’t allow their child to be tainted by evil. Katie was stunned. How could Jim have changed this much in such a short time? He was a sweet, shy man who most people classified as “easy-going”. Now he was contemptuous of anyone and anything that he thought was sinful. Then came the ultimatum from Jim: give up your religion or he would take their child and leave. If he loved her, how could he ask her to do this?
In order to explain to non-Pagan readers how devastating this proposition is, let me take just a moment to fill you in. The fellow members of a coven aren’t like members of a church. A coven is a very small group, usually under 14 people, and the bond you form with them is like a combination of best friends and family. Those Wiccans that have been in the military liken the coven bond to that of squad buddies who have saved each others’ lives during war. It’s that tight. For this reason, covens are very selective about who they allow to join. Prospective coveners can go through years of joining in semi-public actives before being asked to join, if they are ever asked. Of course, some people decide it just isn’t their thing and choose not to join a coven and happily remain a Solitary.
Continued —>
PAGES:»
Zalmoxis
Star Foster
Blog Admin
Guest
Let your friend know she’s in my prayers. What a horrible situation. Shame on those who feed people fear and hate rather than strength and love!
Your friend will be in my prayers, let the godess guide her. I’m so sorry for all the small minded people in this world causing misery to loving mothers and witches like her.
It never ceases to amaze me how critical and small minded people can be. Especially those that claim to follow God/Jesus. They always seem to miss the part about benevolence. They conveniently skip over the parts of their Bible and teachings that let them live up to their full potential. Instead they use it as a tool for fear and hate mongering. Some sects/groups/branches are worse than others. [sighs] And people wonder why I’m so quiet about my religious and spiritual beliefs. I get more grief from fellow “Christians” than anyone else.
I wish your friend the best. I’d be far more afraid of how the husband would twist those kids than anything he could imagine her doing.
Blessings to her <3
I found a sticker that says”I don’t have a problem with God. It’s his fan club I can’t stand.” What a wonderful world it will be when people learn to let others live there lives as they see fit. Blessings and gentle winds to all.
Demanding that she give up her religion is abusive behavior, and acceding to unreasonable demands tends to embolden the abuser. I absolutely understand her reasoning and support her choices; she’s there and I’m not. But it seems clear to me that he isn’t going to stop. So…good wishes for her, prosperity (so she can pay lawyers), happiness and a veil of protection so she can go about her life and raise her daughter without his interference. So mote it be.
The broom closet is never an easy place to be, but especially not when you’ve been forced back into it to protect the innocent ones you love. Someone once told me that having a child means that you experience a special kind of pain because your heart will walk around outside of your body for the rest of your life. It’s amazing the things one will do to oneself to keep that little heart safe.
It isn’t a simple path and the scars from walking it will stay with you, however you do still have love and support. Look to the Gods for your strength and hold your child close as often as possible. When you feel that little heartbeat next to yours, know that it’s all going to be worth it in the end.
Stay strong, and be well. All my love,
A Closeted KitchenWitch
Coffee With A Closeted Witch @patheos #pagan http://bit.ly/boTAis
I had a similar decision to make once. I made the other decision. I lost my kid. I can still talk to her online and phone, but not in person. It still burns, always burns. I have no qualms about looking into the eyes of people like your friend, and saying, “If you choose my path, be aware that the loss is like death.” She’s chosen the safer path, and the less painful one. I sometimes wish I had.
I’m so sorry Allyson. So very, very sorry.
RT @patheos: Coffee With A Closeted Witch #patheos #pagan http://bit.ly/boTAis
thanks for keeping me up to date on this subject.
Sent from my iPad 4G
Coffee With A Closeted Witch (via @patheos) #pagan http://bit.ly/boTAis