I would like to break this down over emails or something and get into the details of stuff. I got a stalker. He's not really - I don't think - violent. He's just relentlessly been hounding me for the last 24 years, trying to contact me, trying to contact me through other people who know me, has never once heard back, and decided to settle it on peoplefinder and wrote me a letter. So yeah, he knows where I live now.
There are very good reasons I never wrote back - he's egotistical and jealous, whiny, blame-shifting, and creeps me out. I used to be his girlfriend back in high school and part way through college, and flushed the toilet on that relaish when he contacted everyone in my dorm to find someone to leave me a note because I was out of my room for a few hours. (That is just a taste of the lengths he will go). Still he never said he was sorry, or ever realized what an asshole he is. As far as I can tell, he is more of the same. The wording of the letter, the brief content circling around his difficult quest to find me and little else. His facebook rants and private matters public: oh yes, I can see you but you can't see me, like that?
Anyway, I got to make this stop, in clear certain terms, without divulging any personal feelings or information. It's so hard to stop once I'm on a roll, I really want to lay into him. I am afraid that if I contact him directly (2 phone numbers, an email, and a snail mail), he will try to parlay that into something it won't ever be, and really won't get through to him. He also has my home address and there is a small chance he will do something drastic and harassing but probably not violent. I think he thinks he's a character in a movie, where strange wild gestures are applauded and not considered wack-a-doo, and that no means yes, not rapey, but "Cease and Desist" means "drive up to surprise me at my apartment" because he hasn't once entertained the thought that I might actually be glad he's not in my life. He implied that I may be happily married and "can't" talk to him "anymore" from which I know he is thinking if I am unattached or unhappily married (as he seems to be venting about, miserably, that he's tried so hard... pretty disgusting) that I would just jump at the chance. Why I haven't called him back in 24 years is so as not to upset my jealous husband, of course, but I should secretly contact him and let him know anyway. Also, "waiting patiently" to hear from me. Also, signing off "Love,"
What shall I do?
Ignoring it has only made him bother people close to me - but he hasn't done anything illegal. I would not hesitate to call the police if I saw him on my street.
EDIT: http://www.patheos.com/forums/unreasonablefaith/topic.php?id=916&page=39#post-48323 refers to this problem.