"It's an odd feeling (especially for me) realizing you are just too old and too tired to enjoy a good fistfight."
Ain't that the truth!
Does the US need tighter gun laws?
(155 posts) (18 voices)-
Darwin
MemberBasically, this is what you guys say about fighting:
"Fuck the Marquis of Fantailler!"I'm pretty scrawny. 5'10" and a 115lb. I couldn't hold my own in a fight with a knife or without. The only thing I have going for me is an above-average ability to tolerate pain. I've stapled my thumb, sliced open the thumb and little finger of my right hand and I... once ran into a metal pole. Don't ask me why.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Ty
ModeratorHeh. I like this sort of contest. :)
Been stabbed. Had my nose broken three times (at least). Broken my right ankle twice. Broken my hands more times than I an count. Had my right shoulder explosively dislocated (it sounded like a gunshot). Cracked innumerable ribs. Cracked my sternum. Broke my coccyx in two places. Broke a bone sliver off in my knee. And once got punched in the face so hard that the guy's ring left a permanent gouge on my cheekbone. You can feel the calcium buildup on it to this day.
That's just the shit I can remember right now. I am the human Timex.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Snapped my ankle falling down the stairs, promptly went to work, did a full shift, drove a hundred miles to a family reunion, camped out, had a couple of Pimms, then my mother saw my ankle and made me go get it set and plastered. Men are crap patients. Frequently dislocate my knee, that's just boring now. Once knocked a brick out of a wall with my head and have the scar to prove it. Got headbutted in a mosh-pit and had several teeth go through my bottom lip. Sliced across the palm by a guy trying to slash me with a broken bottle (I broke his wrist disarming him, so all's fair). Had the corner of a ceramic tile jammed into my other palm falling over in the bathroom, severing a tendon in my thumb (been double jointed since it healed). Popped all of my achiles tendons playing basketball (unbelievably painful). Had a shard of metal go in my eye from an exploding axe-head. Got knocked off of my bike by a minivan doing 40mph and was pretty much uninjured.
If you want patient injuries that will freak you, I can go all day.
Posted 2 years ago # -
There's a very good picture that's well known among medical graphics types, of a guy who came through our A&E having had his head crushed by an elevator. Sadly I can't find the picture on a public site and I can't share it from the hospital intranet, but suffice to say that it is epic. The guy's eyes had popped out and flown off, his soft palette was about 90 degrees tilted from where it should be (his upper wisdom teeth were by his chin. Most of his facial anatomy wasn't even identifiable anymore - but some immensely talented maxilofacial surgeon managed to rebuild him.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Ebon Badger
MemberExploding axe head?
Anyway, I got impaled through the little finger at a Mayhem gig (rusty nail arm spikes FTMFL). By some weird miracle it managed to go past rather than through the muscles and bones and stuff, just went in one side and out the other. Hurt like a bastard, did that really annoying throbbing thing that means you can't really move your hand without it protesting. It healed well though, apart from a small scar on the outside you wouldn't know it had had a rusty nail through it.
Oh, and headbutting people? That shit hurts.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Kodie
MemberCan't believe I forgot my accident with the knitting needles. I crossed the street out of the subway to catch the bus on the other side and tripped on a valve cover and the needles came straight through the bag. Picked myself up to wait for the bus then noticed how wet my leg was, but I was only stabbed twice really close together, thought the needle went through and came out. Then there was that other time a bus almost hit me there at the same crossing because I forgot to look and a stranger pulled me back on the curb.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Darwin
MemberAlright, you want graphic? We'll do graphic. So, I'm just walking with my friend in our schools games ground during break. This guy with a football takes a freekick from a distance of 10 ft. straight into my crotch. You ever had something barrel into your crotch at 60 mph? F*** your coccyx(though that is pretty impressive).
Posted 2 years ago # -
grouchybastid
MemberBroke a foot teaching a kid's karate class, then walked upstairs to teach another class before being convinced to go to a doctor. Blew out my left ACL at a tournament, turned out I nicked a major blood vessel in the knee in the process. Doc drew a full pint out of my knee before the bleeding stopped. Blew the same knee out again a few years later in a mosh pit.
The best, though, was the time I broke my own nose. There was this rocking horse that was attached with springs to the ceiling of a bar, and we all decided somebody needed to ride the horse. I grabbed the stirrups and pulled to get it low enough. Stirrup straps broke, steel stirrup direct to the nose. Amazingly enough, the bouncers didn't throw us all out.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Mogg
Member'Sprained' my ankle once while on holiday, and the only doctor available was a locum who I think had to be resurrected to work the holiday shift he was that old, his diagnostic technique was to poke my ankle so that I yelled and say "yep, it's sprained". A year and half later after spraining it again I got an x-ray because I was having trouble with it. The radiographer said "oh, here's where you broke it last time" and happily pointed out where I'd broken my ankle in two places and pulled a ligament off.
I have numerous scars, but most of them are from minor-ish cuts and scrapes which just scarred for some reason and from a severe case of chickenpox - no cred in that at all. I did manage to sprain 9 joints in one hand all at once though - ran into a car rear-vision mirror.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Oh best Injury?
I have seen an illegal whaler who accidentally got harpooned (hand harpoon not a giant explodey one) by his friend.
He fell into the water and his friend decided to help him out by throwing the harpoon out to him...
They went to jail because I had to ask the question "what were you doing when you got hit in the leg with a harpoon".
Posted 2 years ago #
Reply »
You must log in to post.