Hey UF, long time no see. I have a moral issue that I want advice on.
I had a mixed time in high school. On the one hand I remember it being filled with laughter and I made some very good friends, with whom I am still very close with today. But on the other hand, I didn't feel respected by a lot of my peers. I don't think I was harshly bullied in the sort of teen drama sense (e.g. getting daily beatings, swirlies, having my lunch money stolen), but now that I look back on things, there definitely was a lot of hostility towards me. People were rude, dismissive and would insult me frequently. I was often alienated by a whole clique of students who were hostile towards me.
Anyway, there was this moment whilst I was still in high school where someone humiliated me in front of the whole school. I got punched out by them for pretty much no reason. To everyone else it was quite funny (even to the teachers), but for me, it actually took me a few weeks to get over the humiliation.
I'm almost 22 now, so I don't feel angry about it now, but it still is somewhat uncomfortable to think about.
But I might have to come into contact with some of them in the near future. My friends are telling me to forgive them, especially as some of the people with whom I didn't get along with want to hang out with me. Granted, I'm not still angry at them, nor do I hate them exactly, but I still don't think they deserve my friendship or forgiveness. I'm not someone who keeps grudges normally, but in my mind it's a matter of principle: why would I want to be friendly with someone who humiliated me so badly, even if it was years ago? I could definitely be civil with them, but I couldn't imagine being friends with them.
So I want to know:
a) Am I being unreasonable by not forgiving someone who offended me back in high school?
b) And generally, should we forgive people who were mean to us back in our childhood/teenage years?
