Got cheated on. Am pissed. « Unreasonable Faith Forum

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Got cheated on. Am pissed.

(95 posts) (24 voices)

Started 1 year ago by LRA
Latest reply from LRA

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LRA
Member

Soooooo....

For the last 6 months I've been dating a guy.

He's a Republican and a Christian. I know. I know.

When we first started dating we had these really great debates and he was so happy with me. The first time I told him that I had feelings for him-- that I loved him-- he said he had had feelings from early on. He has a 6 year old son that I take care of regularly. I even read him bedtime stories. We even mentioned marriage a few times. The other day, he asked me my ring size!!! I couldn't believe that.

Yesterday, while I was watching his son, I got on his laptop to look at dishwashers. I need a new one, so I wanted to compare prices at a few places. When I went to open a new tab, it showed favorite websites. One of them was match.com.

I clicked on it, and his profile was still logged in. He had been corresponding with a couple of girls since the end of November/ beginning of December. I was so pissed that I called him and said, "I need to bring your son to your workplace." "Why?" "Because I'm breaking up with you." "Why???" "Because I saw your match.com account. I know you've been planning to meet with girls."

And guess what he said.... "No! I haven't!!"

I caught the f*cker red handed and he lied to me.

I am so miserable right now. I haven't eaten any food since yesterday.

WHY? Why would he do this??? I am so confused. I have been good to him. Sure, I've been stern when he stepped on my toes, but overall I have been really, really good to him.

The worst part is that on his match.com profile he said that he goes to church most every Sunday (he's been once in the 6 mos. we've been together and that was only after a fight we had.) and that he really enjoys cooking with someone (which he only started doing WITH ME.)

F*cker.

Posted 1 year ago #
LRA
Member

Oh. And BTW. I sent messages to all the girls he was corresponding with to let them know he had a girlfriend, that he was a liar/cheater, and that they could have him if they wanted him, but that I thought they wouldn't much like it.

Cuz' that's how I roll.

Posted 1 year ago #
Revyloution
Member

Ouch, sometimes I feel like I need to apologize for all of male-kind. The positive I can offer is, at least you found out before marriage. Honestly, the worst part is the kid. I had a girlfriend who had an amazing daughter (oh jeeze, 20 years ago?), who ended up cheating on me. She was the crazy type, so I knew I was getting out of a world of too much drama, but I kinda felt like I was a good influence for her kid.

Keep yer head up, there are good guys out there and you are worth it.

Posted 1 year ago #
LRA
Member

And I also want to add that I went to a bar, met a SUPERHAWT guy, and took him home.

Cuz that's how I roll, too.

Posted 1 year ago #
LRA
Member

Thanks Revy!!!

:)

Posted 1 year ago #
LRA
Member

One regret:

When I got to the boyfriend's work, his son asked if he could leave his game in my car:

"No. Take it with you."
"Why?"
"Because I won't be seeing you again."
"Why???"
"Because I'm breaking up with your dad."
"Why???"
"Because he cheated on me with other women."
"Why???"
"I dunno. You'll have to ask your dad that question. Now take this house key and give it to your dad."
"Ok." *runs off, seemingly oblivious*

That was the last conversation I had with this precious 6 year old.

:(

Posted 1 year ago #
Noelle
Member

Sux.

I wouldn't feel too bad about the conversation with the kid. It wasn't directed at him and he's old enough that it might stick with him as an example of what happens when you cheat on your girlfriend.

Posted 1 year ago #
Francesco
Member

LRA, chocolate is the ultimate medicine for a broken heart

Posted 1 year ago #
Len
Member

Sorry to hear you got hurt. Sending a message to all his contacts was evil - I bet it felt great :-)

The little boy will probably get a somewhat different reason as to why he no longer sees you - not much you can do about that.

Big hug.

And: http://lydiafromtexas.wordpress.com/2011/08/04/dating

Posted 1 year ago #
LRA
Member

"Sending a message to all his contacts was evil - I bet it felt great :-)"

It did feel great. But also, I think these girls should know what kind of person he is. What kind of sister would I be if I didn't look out for my fellow sisters!!!!

Posted 1 year ago #
Len
Member

I meant well done ;-)

Posted 1 year ago #
Mark the Pilgrim
Member

I'm sorry to hear that. Just know that you're probably better off without someone who could cause more hurt in the future.

Stay strong Texan. Go listen to Tori Amos or something (I think you're a fan?). You have my permission.:-)

Posted 1 year ago #
Custador
Moderator

I second Revy's apology on behalf of 50% of the human race. I feel bad for the kid, too. Not for what you said to him, for what his dad put you in the position of having to say to him. Hugs, dude.

Posted 1 year ago #
LRA
Member

How many fates turned around in the overtime?
Ballerinas with their fins that you'll never find?
You thought that you were the bomb, yes, well so did I.
Say you don't want it. Say you don't want iiiitttttt.

Posted 1 year ago #
Mark the Pilgrim
Member

Don't go overboard with it, LRA.

Posted 1 year ago #
LRA
Member

Thank you, Custy!

Posted 1 year ago #
Mogg
Member

Well done on your response to the situation! It hurts like hell when someone does this to you, but better to put an end to it straight away, and I like the warning to his contacts :-D I hope you find someone better worth your highly valuable time and emotional investment, or have a blast as a single - whatever you prefer!

Posted 1 year ago #
LRA
Member

No worries! Just singing a bit! :)

Posted 1 year ago #
LRA
Member

Thank you Mogg!!!!

Posted 1 year ago #
LRA
Member

More confusion:

So we went to his work's Christmas party together. He said to me, "You were the most beautiful girl there." There were like 250 people in the room.

Why would he say something like that if he was talking to other people on match.com. I genuinely don't understand. Maybe I'm just gullible or something. Maybe I just don't think like a cheater.

Posted 1 year ago #
UrsaMinor
Member

Men. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

Too bad you're 1500 miles away, or you'd be having homemade chicken stew with a nice pinot grigio tonight, served with two pairs of shoulders to cry on. Of course, if you hopped in the car right now, I could stash the stew in the fridge and you could be here in time for dinner tomorrow night. I apologize because there's only about five pounds of dark chocolate in the house right now, but it's all yours if you want it.

On the whole, I think you handled it about as well as it could be handled. You've had your say, taken a well-deserved shot at him, said your good-byes to his son, and now it's time to walk away. Done. Finis. Don't go there anymore.

Big hugs!

Posted 1 year ago #
Kodie
Member

'Cause he's a player who knows what to say to make you feel like the only one on his mind, that's why. IMO, men are confusing and turds to me, I feel for you though. You have the biggest heart! Also, I think it's cool you ended it right in the middle of watching his kid instead of waiting for him to come home, because it's a shitty way to spend the afternoon and you tend to either build up a bigger head of steam or lose your nerve going over what you're going to do or say and it's never as cool and turn-the-tables as you wanted it to be, police might be called, etc. I don't know, free-associating. It's good he wasn't too smart to keep that stuff really hidden, so at least you stumble on it instead of never finding out or finding out a lot later in a lot harder way.

Posted 1 year ago #
Justice Gustin
Member

This just reconfirms my consensus that (most) men have always been and will always be- pigs.

Posted 1 year ago #
UrsaMinor
Member

Kodie is dead-on; he's a player. And she's right that you made the best possible move by getting out of it immediately.

Still sucks.

Posted 1 year ago #
LRA
Member

Is it bad that I feel like crawling into a hole right now and feel like never coming out again, ever?

I feel so humiliated.

:(

Posted 1 year ago #
LRA
Member

And now I'm crying.

Again.

:(

Posted 1 year ago #
LRA
Member

I'll be ok.

Posted 1 year ago #
Noelle
Member

Pain is supposed to hurt. You're supposed to rage and cry. It's good. It means you're human. It'll hurt worse before it gets better. But it'll get better.

Posted 1 year ago #
julie42
Member

Go ahead and cry! It gets to a point where you just can't cry any more, and it's a strangely good feeling. You just have to get it all out of your system before you can feel better.
Do you have anything that you can break or tear apart? Maybe some bubble wrap to stomp on...

Posted 1 year ago #
swmr1
Member

That really sucks. It's especially hard when you think you know someone and find out they are not at all who you thought. Give yourself time to mourn the loss of who you thought he was. And know you made good decisions with the knowledge you have now. You seem extremely smart and capable. You deserve better.

Posted 1 year ago #