Me and my girl broke up, as it were. For good reason, I suppose. I need help with doing something for her though... so here's a post in two parts: background story and what I need help/advice with.
She's had a most painful life and I stuck with her through so much... I don't want to give too much detail, but she comes from a very abusive (though upper class) home. I love her and she loves me. She was my best friend and I know more about what she's suffered than anyone...family, life-long best friend, everyone.
This last semester has been rough on both of us. I was struggling with depression and anxiety, suddenly and without warning. I haven't been straight financially (not getting payed for all my work this semester until Feb 15) and have been without residence, staying with a friend in his living room indefinitely. (I just found a place for $150-175 a month which will work for me, but I have to get that sorted out still. Asking parents for some support etc so I'm good).
She is overloaded. She's had to cut ties with her family for her own mental health (as recommended by her psychologist...and this guy knows a lot of ppl in her family personally) but her parents ditched her medical insurance. She's on her sister's right now but it's not nearly as good. So she's working all the time to pay for medical bills...more on that in a bit.
I started having anxiety attacks repeatedly this last week, mostly because of her, and she just told me yesterday that we couldn't be together. This isn't about me though, I'm doing just fine. (I was getting super dependent on her and not taking care of myself. I realized that I couldn't be there for her, I'd become really needy and kept thinking that when she wasn't okay it was my fault... I used to easily give her space because that's how she is.)
She just found out that her heart condition (she was born with a hole in her heart) was getting much, much worse and she needed a replacement within a year. She's on a donor list, but she doesn't know if she'll even live. And she couldn't be there for me when I needed her, I wasn't stable financially or emotionally, and she didn't want me to have to suffer through with her at the hospital whenever that time came.
Sometimes she doesn't tell me things, but she doesn't lie to me. I realized she didn't want to see me, but I couldn't understand why and that, coupled with anxiety, made it really damned hard. I don't want to go into too much detail about what we've been through together, but I know she's trying to act in my best interests... I've had to convince her before that she made my life better and not cut me out to avoid hurting me. I needed space from her to stop feeling like I need her and sort myself out...so it kind of is okay. And I'm not going to argue with her or make it difficult for her.
She's a brilliant person, incredibly self-sacrificial, and tough as nails considering everything. She works harder than anybody I know, for her own ambitions but also to hold relationships with people together. But she doesn't ask for help for herself.
I want to raise money for her. I don't know where to start, besides talking to people in the medical field, people experienced with fundraising, etc, and figure out how to set these things up and get them moving. I know wealthy generous people personally, she has some wealthy extended relatives who live locally (I don't think she'd ask them for help, I've recommended it before) and the internet has its own super-powers.
But I need the intellectual resources to get this ball rolling.
Finally, I can say in all honesty that she's worth it all, not just to me, not just to the thankless people who she's sacrificed for (not that she'd say it, but she has), but to all the people who'd encounter her if she gets through this alive and well.