All In (Lectionary Study for Sunday, August 11, 2013)

Bible Cliff’s Notes (My dog ate my Bible!) First Reading Isaiah 1:1, 10-20 God finds all of the offerings given by the people of Sodom to be repugnant. He tells them to stop making offerings, and instead, to focus on personal conversion, care for the outcast. The admonition concludes with a promise that, if they are contrite, their transgressions will be forgiven. and Genesis 15:1-6 God promises great rewards to Abram for his faithfulness, but Abram is distraught because he has no … [Read more...]

Get Lazy for Jesus (Lectionary Study for Sun, Aug 4, 2013)

lazy jesus

Bible Cliff’s Notes (My dog ate my Bible!) First Reading Hosea 11:1-11 A poem of lament of sorts, spoken on God’s behalf. God is mourning the fact that the people of Israel continue to turn their backs on God, despite being delivered from Egyptian bondage and being sustained and nourished during the exodus. Instead, they worship pagan Gods and are inclined toward violence. Despite God’s disappointment, there is a vow not to strike out in anger, but to keep calling out to God’s … [Read more...]

Jesus Found My Wallet! (Lectionary Study for Sunday, July 28, 2013)

blood-of-jesus wallet

Bible Cliff’s Notes (My dog ate my Bible!) First Reading Hosea 1:2-10 Hosea is ordered by God to Mary Gomer, and they have three children. The names of the three children – Jezreel, Lo-ruhamah and Lo-ammi - represent forthcoming consequences of Israel's abandonment of their covenant with God. The harshness is softened in verse 10 when God promises that the future of Israel and its people can still be great. and Genesis 18:20-32 God intends to destroy Sodom for its wickedness, but … [Read more...]

Get Outa My Tent! (Heretic’s Guide for Sun, July 21, 2013)

tent girl

Bible Cliff’s Notes (My dog ate my Bible!) First Reading Amos 8:1-12 God shows the prophet Amos a basket of summer fruit and then proceeds to drop the cataclysmic prediction for the people of Israel on him. Aside from the general wailing, gnashing teeth and skies turned to darkness, the vision is one of a spiritual famine: one in which God's people search for God but will not find him. This, like our passage from Amos last week, has to do with the Northern Territory of Israel and its … [Read more...]

Life and Death Decisions (Lectionary Study for July 7, 2013)


Bible Cliff’s Notes (My dog ate my Bible!) First Reading 2 Kings 5:1-14 Naaman is a great warrior for King Aram but he suffers from leprosy.  Elisha invites Naaman to his house in order to be healed.  When Naaman gets there Elisha sends a servant felt tells him to bathe himself seven times in the river Jordan. Naaman is offended that Elisha doesn’t come out in person and almost goes home. But his servant convinces him to follow through on what Elisha has told him to do, and he is … [Read more...]

From Rock God to God Nerd (Lectionary Study for Sunday, June 30th)

wahlberg rock star

Bible Cliff’s Notes (My dog ate my Bible!) First Reading 2 Kings 2:1-2, 6-14 Elijah keeps trying to leave Elisha behind, but Elisha keeps following him everywhere. Elijah is getting ready to be swept up to heaven by God and Elisha asks for a double dose of his spirit Elijah gets swept from the banks of the River Jordan by a chariot of fire and Elisha freaks out. But based on his superpowers to separate the waters of the Jordan, it appears that his wish was granted. and 1 Kings … [Read more...]

Which Way Did He Go, George? ( Lectionary study for Sunday, June 23, 2013)


Bible Cliff’s Notes (My dog ate my Bible!) First Reading 1 Kings 19:1-4, (5-7), 8-15a Elijah gets in trouble with the King Ahab and Jezebel for killing their prophets. He hides in the woods and waits to die but an angel gives him food. He retreats to mount Horeb for 40 days. God appears to Elijah and tells him to retreat to the wilderness in Damascus. (and) Isaiah 65:1-9 The prophet Isaiah is condemning those who do not observe Jewish law and do not worship the God of Abraham. He … [Read more...]

Tyler Durden’s Gospel / Kings Behaving Badly (Heretic’s Guide for Sunday, June 16th, 2013)

tyler durden

Bible Cliff’s Notes (My dog ate my Bible!) First Reading 1 Kings 21:1-10, (11-14), 15-21a King Ahab wants Naboth’s vineyard but he won’t sell. So Jezebel, Ahab’s wife, sets Naboth up and has him killed. Elijah prophesies to Ahab that ruin will come upon him for doing this evil. (and) 2 Samuel 11:26-12:10, 13-15 King David marries Bathsheba after sending her husband, Uriah, to die in battle. The prophet Nathan calls David on his greed and David confesses his sin. Still, his … [Read more...]

God Hits the “Smite” Button (Bonus “Year D” Content For June 16, 2013)

god smite

God Hits the “Smite” Button A Heretic’s Guide to the Bible Bonus Readings from Beyond the Lectionary by David Ackerman for Proper 6: June 16, 2013 Bible Cliff’s Notes Gospel Matthew 12:43-45:  This is a strange statement by Jesus in which he talks about how an unclean spirit wanders through deserts after leaving a person and returns to the house from where it came.  It brings along seven spirits more evil than itself so that things are worse for the person than they were.  … [Read more...]

God is a Sock (Lectionary Study for Sunday, June 9th)


Bible Cliff’s Notes (My dog ate my Bible!) First Reading 1 Kings 17:8-16, (17-24) A widow and her son living in Sidon are starving to death as the result of the famine. Elijah assures her that her food source will not run out. He also resurrects her son after he gets sick and dies. Because of this, she believes he is a man of God. Gospel Luke 7:11-17 Jesus arrives in the town of Nain with his disciples and a big following. A widow is taking her only son to be buried, when Jesus brings … [Read more...]