{"id":285,"date":"2016-08-01T12:35:25","date_gmt":"2016-08-01T17:35:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/accesspolitics\/?p=285"},"modified":"2017-09-19T10:21:18","modified_gmt":"2017-09-19T15:21:18","slug":"the-shortest-verse-in-a-democrats-bible-bill-slept","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/accesspolitics\/2016\/08\/the-shortest-verse-in-a-democrats-bible-bill-slept\/","title":{"rendered":"The shortest verse in a Democrat&#8217;s bible: &#8220;Bill slept&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-286\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/676\/2016\/08\/Screen-Shot-2016-08-01-at-1.11.18-AM.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-08-01 at 1.11.18 AM\" width=\"509\" height=\"293\"><\/p>\n<p>Did anybody else notice how sleepy Bill Clinton was during his wife\u2019s speech at the Democratic National Convention last week?<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>You know, the biggest moment of Hillary Clinton\u2019s political life \u2014 the one in which she accepted the party\u2019s nomination, thus becoming the first woman of a major political party to ever be nominated for president? Yeah, that one!<\/p>\n<p>Apparently for Bill, who\u2019s seen and done it all (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/frenchrevolution\/2016\/07\/27\/top-11-times-bill-clinton-was-accused-of-sexual-assault-or-rape-an-antidote-for-his-speech-inspired-nostalgia\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\">literally<\/a>), that wasn\u2019t all that exciting. I mean, heck, he was president for eight years and had a personal, live-in Oval Office \u201cassistant,\u201d who would do anything he suggested. Hey, Monica!<\/p>\n<p>But seriously, that was prime nap time for the former president and thankfully, ABC News cameras captured it all:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/yPbUhcvDgCo?feature=player_embedded\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Did you catch that? Forget for a second that Bill was fast approaching R.E.M. and pay closer attention to Hillary\u2019s VP-pick, Tim Kaine. His face said it all \u2014 that look of utter disgust, that there he was, sitting next to the sleepiest guy at the convention during the most exciting, if not important, part of the evening. I think Kaine even tried choking himself for a brief second, before deciding he\u2019d rather just lean forward and block the embarrassment from the view of the national media.<\/p>\n<p>Other angles took this situation from, \u201cHey, look how funny it is that Bill is catching some Zs as his wife talks,\u201d to, \u201cHoly crap, what\u2019s wrong with Bill?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/kabmdAmP5TU?feature=player_embedded\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Was that a cotton mouth impression? He <em>is<\/em> from Arkansas AND his nickname used to be Bubba, so he\u2019s obviously wrangled some water moccasins in his time, right? I mean, he was probably like one of those Indian snake-charmers, except Bill probably sat around in his boxer shorts and McDonald\u2019s-stained wife beater playing his saxophone at the edge of a creek. Hey! Maybe that\u2019s what he was picturing when he was \u201cresting his eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But that\u2019s not even the worst of it. Here\u2019s Bill doing his best <em>Weekend at Bernie\u2019s<\/em> impression:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/bxXM-ssObJw?feature=player_embedded\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Seriously, <a href=\"http:\/\/knowyourmeme.com\/memes\/did-he-died\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\" rel=\"nofollow\">did he died<\/a> for like a second?<\/p>\n<p>That night, Bill also proved that he can transcend the space\/time continuum with his ability to slo-motion clap while everyone else claps in real time, something he probably learned after his 200th viewing of <em>Back to the Future<\/em>. It happens at the 1:08 mark:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/bj2thDX9cn4?feature=player_embedded\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve already asked, \u201cWhat is wrong with Bill?\u201d but after that clip you\u2019re probably asking, \u201cWhat is wrong with Hillary?\u201d Maybe all those throat clearings were an attempt to get our attention so we would see her winking and making air-quotes to clue us in that this has all been some sick prank and she\u2019s not really running for president? Wishful thinking, I know.<\/p>\n<p>But in the end, Bill not only made a full recovery but also proved the science behind the power nap. By the time he got on stage, he looked happier than a White House intern. (Hey, Monica!)<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-conversation=\"none\" data-lang=\"en\">\n<p dir=\"ltr\" lang=\"en\">And here\u2019s your <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/billclinton\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">@billclinton<\/a> playing with the balloons at the <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/hashtag\/DemConvention?src=hash\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">#DemConvention<\/a> like a 5 year-old GIF: <a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/qolmjs1oaA\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">pic.twitter.com\/qolmjs1oaA<\/a><\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Frank Thorp V (@frankthorp) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/frankthorp\/status\/758875462118412288\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">July 29, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Of course, Bill had no clue why everyone was celebrating, but who cares. \u00a0Balloons!<\/p>\n<p><script src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" async=\"\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is wrong with Bill Clinton?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3045,"featured_media":286,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-285","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The shortest verse in a Democrat&#039;s bible: &quot;Bill slept&quot;<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What is wrong with Bill Clinton?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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